Friends!

I haven’t blogged in a long time. I don’t really have an excuse except that I often choose to watch Sister Wives during Theo’s naptime instead of blogging. Hashtagclassy. Hashtagpolygamy. HashtagMeridrama.

How is everyone?! Since we last talked, we went to Colorado! It was the bestest. I got to see so many friends and meet their babies and visit Target and eat lots of food. We also went to my friend Matthew’s wedding and he married sweet Emily and we had very schmancy times at the Brown Palace. I miss Colorado. Especially because it is 50 and rainy here today. So I’m looking through my pics of my sweet friends.

We have all been friends for a very long time. Because we are old.

Little Everlyn is only a couple months older than Theo — but he’s about a gazillion pounds heavier than her.

Our men.

Ash is having a little girly in September — hopefully on my birthday! 

Fam.

We are trying to sleep train Theo. He naps well and goes down so easily at bedtime, but then all the waking up all the night long. Last night around 1 a.m., I was letting him fuss for 10 minutes before I went in to him. I woke up 30 minutes later with the monitor in my hand and he was asleep, so apparently a combination of letting him cry/being too tired to stay awake to comfort him works. He woke up later with a smile, so I guess he doesn’t hate me too much.

Happy Memorial Day! Grateful to those who gave all for our country. Although, every time I hear that phrase it just reminds me of Billy Ray and his epic mullet.

Also, Billy Ray. Remember how your daughter is Miley? I bet your heart is achy breaky over that.

Is everyone off work today? Canada celebrates Victoria Day a week before Memorial Day, so everyone here is working away, and no one is BBQ-ing because of the aforementioned rain. Also, did you know everyone in Canada calls a grill a BBQ, and if you call it a grill, people stare at you sadly because they know you come from the country where Donald Trump is going to be president?

While I’m writing this, my TV is muted and there is a show called Tour Group on in the background. (It looks Bravo classy.)

Speaking of classy shows, has anyone ever seen Alaskan Bush People? I don’t get the channel here, but when I was in Colorado, Micah, Alecia and I watched an episode and we cried actual tears. Tears of joy. Because, this:

alaskan-bush-people

Father and son.

Guys, things are about to get fun around here! In June, Theo and I are joining Andrew’s family on Vancouver Island for some beach time. (I will spend most of it trying to prevent Theo from eating sand.) Then Jaci and Josh are coming to Canada to visit! Then at the end of June, Andrew is done with school for the summer — woo hoo!!! Also, we will be in Minnesota for the first couple of weeks in July, so let’s all hang out! After that, who even knows what the rest of the summer will bring?! (Probably more sleep training.)

Theo is excited to visit Target again in July!

Theo has started eating solids. It’s a treat because who doesn’t love cooking food, blending it, freezing it, feeding about two bites to your child while he spits it back at you, and then cleaning up the high chair and washing a million bibs?


So far he seems to enjoy oatmeal and bananas the most. He gets very dramatic about avocados and sweet potatoes — he puckers up like they’re lemons or something. Calm it down, Theo. He’s also very into his new sippy cup because apparently he loves the feeling of pouring water down his shirt and sitting in sopping wet clothing.


When we were in Colorado, we got to go to a Sunday service at my old church, Wellspring. Loved it. We sang a song that has probably been around awhile, but that I hadn’t heard before. I loved the verses:

And then on the third at break of dawn,
The Son of heaven rose again.
O trampled death where is your sting?
The angels roar for Christ the King!

I got chills at the image of Jesus trampling death in victory, and the angels roaring in praise for the Lamb!

Hokay, I gotta go. Theo is about to wake up and politely demand every ounce of my attention. Have a great day, friends!

Theo just cried for ________ (it’s best not to give you the amount of time so you don’t judge me quite as much for being a terrible mother) while going down for his nap, which made me cry a bunch, so we’re just over here crying. It’s Monday, everyone.

Theo has become THE WORST sleeper lately. He’s never been good, but it has gotten out of control the past two weeks. Last night he was up for an hour and a half (from 2-3:30 AM) and then up a bunch of times after that too. At some point in the night, I think I stomped around and threw my phone on the floor (wise) and kicked a chair and ignored all of Andrew’s attempts to calm me. Or something. Who knows — it’s hard to remember things that happen at 3 O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING. I’m going insane.

It’s hard to stay annoyed with this guy, though.

I’ve tried the pacificer, I’ve tried letting him cry, I’ve tried singing, I’ve tried promising him that I’ll pay for his college education, but nothing works. Help! Maybe it’s time to introduce solids — he’s nearing 6 months. Or I think he may be in some kind of regression or developmental leap or he just has a deal with the devil. No one knows.

Please give me some advice or heavy sleeping pills so I don’t hear him. Either one.

In other news, my mom came to visit a couple of weeks ago! She hadn’t seen Theo in awhile, so it was the best and so fun and I miss her. We shopped and chatted, and she loved Theo so much, and we went to Banff and ate terribly, and we watched TLC, and it was great. Come back, Jilly Bean.

Isn’t my mom pretty? Theo thought so.

In even other news, I got to go to brunch and shopping with friends yesterday! That has happened never times in the past few months, so that was a fun treat!

I seriously have nothing funny to say today. The sleep deprivation and crying dehydration have taken everything out of me.

The high today is 79, so Canada is showing off its heat skills. (Who knew?!) Theo is wearing shorts pulled up real high on his belly like an old man, so maybe that’s why he was crying.

Next he’ll be wearing sandals with socks.

I get to go to Colorado in a couple of weeks! Woo hoo — besties and mountains and meeting new babies and my favorite restaurants and Target (yes, I will be shopping there).

I am doing a little talk at my church’s denominational gathering tomorrow. I’ll do the usual on some of the Jewishness of the Bible, and then I’m going to talk a bit about the Kingdom of God that Jesus talks so much about in the Bible. In the Jewish mind, the Kingdom is at hand (or here) when 1. God shows up in power, 2. He is declared to reign, and 3. We obey.

In the Exodus text, after the parting of the Red Sea, the Israelites sing a song to God and declare that He is reigning and will reign! I loved being reminded of that these past couple of days. No matter what is going on — in our nation, in our homes, in the world — God is on the throne. He is reigning. He already reigns whether or not we’re willing to acknowledge it. And one day, everyone will. And so now, I need the Lord to reign in my life. In my thoughts, in my words, and in my actions. I want and need to surrender all to Him. My sin, my selfish desires, my hopes, my all. (Even my sleep?)

OK, I have to go. My brain function is at minimal capacity, which is probably why I’m about to go see what Bravo has to offer.

Theo thinks that’s a terrible idea.

Sweet dreams tonight — I’ll be thinking of you while I’m up all night long.

 

 

 

 

Back to the Grind

April 5, 2016

Sorry I didn’t blog last week, guys. We were on spring break! Andrew had the whole week off, so we went to Fairmont, BC and enjoyed the mountains and hot springs. We had good friends, good food (I’m fat), and great weather!

So beautiful! Also, SO many deer droppings.

This week Andrew is back at work, and so far today Theo has peed on my bed and thrown up on me twice. So I guess spring break is over.

Theo loved getting to spend so much time with Andrew last week. He is such a fun dad and took Theo swimming and on walks and showed him what it feels like to play on green grass. By the end of the week, Theo would just stare at Andrew with an adoring smile any time he was around.

Best friends.

I, on the other hand, am old news. I get a smile with some vomit. The other day, Theo started burrowing his head into my shoulder, which I thought meant that he wanted to give hugs to his favorite mommy. But then I realized that he was just sucking on my shoulder and getting saliva all over me. Also, he has recently figured out where his food comes from, which means that he is constantly pawing at me in a very ungentlemanly fashion. But whatever. Look at this sweet face.

From this plaid button-up, you would think that he’s a gentleman.

Ugh. I am feeling stressed. I am still waiting on this work visa extension, and if it doesn’t come this week, it affects my legal status, my maternity leave payments, my healthcare and my ability to travel. So, seriously, if you think of it, I would love your prayers that it shows up in my mailbox like now. Thank you so much!

Our washing machine broke the other day, which was a fun treat. It would get stuck on the spin cycle and to get it to reset, we’d have to open up the drain and let all the water gush all over our laundry room floor, which meant millions of mops and sopping towels. It was super cute. But $300 later, it’s fixed and I get to wash towels for days.

Guys, I am on a cleanse. After last week’s spring break eating and the previous weeks of no-excuse-for-all-those-chips eating, I have got to get. on. it. So yesterday I worked out and ate some pineapple. (In my world, a cleanse means trying to eat fewer Doritos.)

Did everyone see the NCAA championship game last night? (Only if you have TBS.) Such an awesome game! Also, I won both of my brackets because I’m a basketball genius (very lucky).

So now apparently Trump wants to give forty lashes to women who get abortions, and then keep abortion legal and then outlaw abortions, and then give free abortions to everyone. Or something. Nice work.

OK, nap time is almost over and I still have 700 loads of laundry to do. As I was stressing about my work visa, this verse popped into my mind: “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” So, let’s do that today!

He's a very trusting kind of guy.

He’s a very trusting kind of guy.

K, bye everyone! Smooches! (Why? No one knows.)

Island Living

March 23, 2016

Hello!

How was everyone’s weekend? (I just realized that it’s Wednesday, so it’s really not a relevant question anymore, but whatever. Days of the week have no meaning when you still have to get up at 5 a.m. on Saturdays because your baby is feeling chatty.) Anyway, happy hump day?

This past weekend we went out to Vancouver Island. For those of you who are not Canadian, Vancouver is not on Vancouver Island. Vancouver is on the mainland. The island is a 12-minute plane ride from Vancouver and it is beautiful and filled with fresh ocean air. (Andrew talked about his love of the island air no less than 16 billions of times this past weekend. #marrytheislandairalready) Also, talking about the island reminds me of The Island and Sawyer and The Dharma Initiative. Those were good times.

Vancouver Island really is beautiful. And the air is quite amazing. #airomatic

Anyway, Andrew’s brother-in-law and sister pastor a church on the island and they asked me to come out to lead a Passover Seder to start out Easter week. So we quickly packed up our stroller, Ergo carrier, car seat, diapers, wipes, baby clothes, pacifiers, toys, blankets, video monitor, breast pump, bottles, sleep sack (oh, and Theo) and headed out. We had super late flights on the way out and the way back because they were such great deals. This was awesome except for the fact that Theo had no idea it was time for sleep and decided to stay awake way past his bedtime. But he was a pretty cheerful fellow, so it wasn’t too bad.

1 a.m. Happy as a clam. Go to bed.

He was a bit off sleepwise for the rest of the weekend, which meant we got to hang out lots in the middle of the night. It apparently also threw off his bowels because he decided to poop on my sister-in-law’s bed as a “thanks for having us” gift. Luckily he’s a pretty fun guy, which made up for the middle-of-the-night-peeing-on-mom-while-she-changed-him fiasco. (Keep in mind that this was separate from the poop incident.)

Loved. Poop and all.

Anyhoo, Passover! I have celebrated Passover seders for about ten years now, which means that I’m old. It also means that I’ve had ten chances to experience this amazing holiday that has taught me so much about Jesus and the Last Supper and the deep meaning and significance behind the bread and the cup.

One of my favorite parts of the seder is after supper, the kids go search for a hidden piece of matzoh bread called the afikoman. Once found, the child brings the afikoman back to the leader, but will only give it back for a ransom, usually a piece of candy. The afikoman must be redeemed for a price. How significant that Jesus, after supper, takes the bread (the afikoman) and says that it is His body, broken for us. How amazing! There is so much to learn from celebrating the holidays that God asked His people to remember every year. Most of us Christians don’t know much about the holidays of the Old Testament, but I believe that we should! They show us so much about God and His amazing character and redemption. If you ever have the chance to attend a Passover seder, do it! (If you’re in Red Deer, I’m doing one tomorrow at CrossRoads Church and there’s still room for you to join!)

Theo is not invited to Passover, but he thinks you should go!

Speaking of Passover and Old Testament things, if we were to take some time to explore questions and topics in the OT, what would you like to see discussed? Leave a comment with your suggestions!

Do you all have big Easter plans? We will be Passovering and then spending time at church on Good Friday and Easter Sunday. And Andrew’s spring break starts tomorrow! Next week we’re going out to Fairmont which means relaxing, hot springs, winter wonderland, and probably more poop incidents.

Anyway, if we don’t chat again before Easter, have an amazing day and take time to honor, praise, glorify and laud the One who paid the price for our sins and then proved that He was God by defeating death!

Speaking of paying the price, Andrew and Theo spent some time humming “Jesus Paid it All” recently. (As you’ll see, I was praising with my eyes closed.)


I love this song and its truths. Oh praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead! (Here it is with more words and less of me snoring.)

Happy Easter, friends! He is risen indeed!

Let the Madness Begin!

March 15, 2016

Hi!

What is up, my dawgs?

Here’s what’s up in my house: me. At night. With a baby.

March Madness starts this week!! Theo and I will be watching the nonstop upsets of this beautiful tournament starting on Thursday. He can’t wait.

This weekend we are going out to Vancouver Island to visit Andrew’s sister and her family and enjoy the warm weather. I’m scared to travel with Theo — he’s older now and antsy and bigger and louder. At least he’s not on the move yet. Also, how does a tiny baby have so much stuff? I now have to drag around strollers and car seats and sleepsacks and tiny socks and wipes and thousands of pacifiers. Babies are high maintenance.

He’s feeling bad for being so much extra work. Or he’s peeing his pants. One or the other.

How is everyone feeling about Ben the Bachelor’s choice? I feel good about it. Know what I did not feel good about? Jo Jo’s final rose dress color. The cut was amazing, but the color was Peptorific.

OK, here’s a warning. I have a rant coming. I just want to warn you, because it’s kind of long and boring. But I’ll intersperse it with pictures of my baby, so maybe that will help? Probs not. It’s pretty boring.

Over on the Facebooks lately, you know the best place for thoughtful political and theological discussions, I’ve noticed a few statements that I find interesting. I’ve seen, in a few different discussions about different things, people saying that the best way to be a Christian is to focus solely on what Jesus said and either ignore, throw out or redefine the Old Testament. So, for example, to be a Christian one must love God and love your neighbor because that’s what Jesus said are the most important commandments. Or Christians would be better off focusing on just the New Testament (or even just Jesus’ words) and getting rid of the Old Testament altogether. I have a couple of thoughts. (Surprised?) Here they are (after this pic of Theo):

He needed some “me time” to relax, regroup and prepare for the night of feedings ahead.

Now, as we all know, I love me some Shema. Jesus said to love God and love your neighbor — the law is summed up in these commandments. Love it. However, I do not believe that Jesus was saying that those commands were the only important ones or that the rest of the Scriptures were not important. (Keep in mind that the Scriptures at this time were solely the Old Testament, and solely what Jesus draws on in His teachings, prayer life, synagogue time, etc.) Jesus, first of all, is weighing in on an argument that was going on around Him — was the second greatest commandment to love your neighbor or to observe the Sabbath? Jesus says, love your neighbor. In saying this, He is affirming that as His followers thought about, interpreted and obeyed every aspect of God’s law, they should do it through that filter. Not ignore it or condemn it or fight against it. In the Jewish culture Jesus was a part of, if He had gone around not following the law or obeying God’s instructions in the Old Testament, no one would have listened to Him for more than a second.

Theo loves his neighbor, Sophie the Giraffe.

Speaking of culture, I think that’s where a lot of misunderstanding comes in. The Old Testament is hard for us to grapple with. There’s a lot that seems harsh and weird and mean. There are really difficult things to understand in the Old Testament. However, just because we don’t understand something doesn’t mean we should ignore it or call it irrelevant. It may be easier to dismiss something that is confusing, but that might just make us lazy. There’s actually a lot that can be explained and understood when we look into the culture of the time — I have been amazed by the compassion, evangelism, love and purpose in the Old Testament as I began to understand it better. (This is not to say that it’s still not hard or confusing sometimes!)

This focusing solely on what Jesus said as a way to live out Christianity is nothing new. Marcion, a heretic in early Christianity, believed the same thing. He liked Jesus but disliked Yahweh in the Old Testament, and thought they were not compatible. So, he rejected the Old Testament, found one of the Gospels that he liked and patched in a few of Paul’s letters (all with his editing, of course). This, he said, was the acceptable way to be a Christian — by cutting and pasting and making the Bible fit what you want to believe about God.

Theo is shocked that Marcion would do such a thing.

What makes me sad about this resurgence of Marcionism is that it takes so much away from the big story God is telling about Himself all throughout Scripture. The New Testament doesn’t mean much without the Old. The Old Testament needs the New to bring about its full meaning. There are not two different Gods in these Scriptures — there’s a God full of compassion and justice in the Old and New Testaments. There are reasons for the things God does in the Old Testament and there are ways of understanding what Jesus said or didn’t say in the New. This big story is about God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. It is all necessary to understand Him, praise Him and trust Him. The Scripture gives us a beautiful story that leads to repentance and salvation. It compels us to worship this great, mysterious, loving, powerful, just God who fully revealed Himself in Jesus. We need to understand, believe, and follow all of it. (I know there are lots of details and questions and and nitpicking about what that looks like or how we do it or what we do or don’t still practice, etc. Maybe I will do an OT series about some of those difficulties and questions someday soon. Maybe I can call it, “OT with the OT.” (I’m in a March Madness mood.)

OK, rant done.

Sorry this post wasn’t very funny or filled with my usual fascinating updates on our flu symptoms. (Although, I got some new xylitol (a sugar substitute) and after eating some last night I can tell you that it did not agree with my stomach.) There, now you have an update on my episodes, so you may go in peace.

Shalom!

We Took Ill

March 7, 2016

I meant to blog last week, but I was too busy dying. Of vomit. And other things. Other. Things.

Oh, you guys. Last Monday night, a couple of hours after dinner, I told Andrew my stomach felt weird. So I went into the bathroom and had a small episode. Then ten minutes later, Andrew had an episode. Then we spent the rest of the night having episodes from every orifice in our bodies. It was the absolute worst. Andrew threw up at least ten times and his eyes are still bloodshot (a week later) to prove it. I didn’t throw up as many times, but I had a terrible fever and did things like almost vomit on my baby while nursing him. It was a classy night.

Next year’s Christmas card. This is probably somewhere around 3 a.m. Monday night. We shared that bucket. For vomiting.

The next day Andrew’s mom had to come and hang out with Theo while we limped around, took naps, and nibbled on crackers. We’re still not sure what it was — we thought it was food poisoning, but I also got a cold and terrible cough out of the deal, so maybe it was a flu bug? Either way, it was awful and I haven’t been that sick in a long time. I am still recovering and I’m even missing strollercize, and we all know how I hate to miss a good workout.

When you’re sick, your baby suffers too. From poor fashion choices.

So, basically, March came in like a lion in the Snyder household.

My work visa expires in a month, which means that unless the Canadian government hurries up and grants me the extension I applied for four months ago, I will no longer have healthcare or be able to work or leave the country. So, pretty please, Canada?!

Guys, I miss Target. Oh Joy has all these cute new baby clothes that I don’t have access to. And in April, Marimekko is doing a special line at Target and I won’t even get to see it! My life is hard.

Oh boy. Here’s a thing we need to discuss: Trump and Hilary winning Super Tuesday. Way to be crappy, America. I don’t get this Trump thing. I literally know of no one who is supporting him, but apparently tons of insane people are. Does everyone understand that he basically wants to be a dictator and silence those who disagree with him? You know, like people who lead in North Korea and the Middle East. And he says pretty awful sexist and racist things? And he has no actual plans for running a country besides saying a lot of loudmouth things? And the KKK loves him? And his rise to power looks and sounds eerily similar to a guy in Europe in the 30s? I doubt any of you wise blog readers support Trump, but if you have a friend or family member who does, I actually implore you to talk to them and explain that they should rethink all of it. ASAP. Especially if they claim to be Christians. I honestly believe that anyone who votes for Trump would be elevating nationalism above their faith and that is no bueno.

He’s happy to be Canadian and is imploring his American friends to make sure that it’s #nevertrump.

Speaking of Trump, our sermon at church was so very good yesterday. Our pastor started out by asking if anyone was following the election cycle in the States. (This drew a loud chuckle from the crowd because, America, you are a huge international laughingstock with this ridiculous election. Be proud.) Anyway, our pastor pointed out that of all the ridiculous things Trump has said, the one with eternal consequences is when he said that he has never asked God for forgiveness. (You know, because he doesn’t need it.)

We’re doing a short sermon series on some of the lament Psalms in the Bible. Psalms of lament are actually a huge chunk of the Psalms, and they often ask questions of God or cry out to Him. Yesterday we looked at Psalm 130 — a lament over sin. The Psalmist knows that if God kept a record of sin, no one would be able to stand before Him. But thankfully, with God there is forgiveness of sin when we confess and repent. The sermon was so good — a reminder of our sin, of God’s great grace, of His Gospel, and of the hope we have in the God who will Himself, through Jesus, redeem Israel of its sins. Seriously, if you have a few minutes, watch this sermon — it will convict and refresh you!

Theo just peed all over the floor and then whined loudly while I took a 2.5 minute shower. #keepingitreal

Would anyone like to come stuff these cloth diapers for me? I’d rather watch Netflix. #keepingitrealer

Speaking of Netflix, we watched Fuller House. It was terrible, obviously, but so was the original Full House. So they stayed true to themselves. I did love the nostalgia, though, and they had some funny moments. Also, that Max kid. I’m not going to lie — he cracked me up.

OK, I feel that’s all I have to report on. I lost the last week of my life, so I’m going to try to catch up today by thinking about maybe making supper tonight. I have goals.

Have a great week!

Bread and Fitness

February 26, 2016

Happy Friday everyone!

First things first: Is everyone aware that Oprah loves bread and eats it every day? Because she does. Bread. Bread. Bread. #gotit #overthatcommercial #gomarrysomebreadalready

I on the other hand, have worked out this week and eaten perfectly (no bread) and gained a pound. So that’s cute.

So, my workouts. I’ve started a class called strollercize. I know. But here’s the thing: It’s hard. I’ve been super sore all week and it’s clearly getting me in shape. (Gained some weight.) These moms are hardcore and have been doing the class for awhile. Some of them started again at six weeks postpartum. #nothankyou. I was still trying to sort night from day at six weeks and I would’ve shot anyone who suggested a workout. But anyhoo, the class is a great workout and we really don’t do anything with our strollers except run laps around the track. (Well, I use the term “run” loosely when it comes to myself.) We do lots of strength training and I pretend to do some push ups. Strollercize it is, guys!

 

I was worn out, but Theo barely seemed winded. Lazy.

 
Fuller House is available on Netflix today! I’m kind of scared to watch it because it’s probably going to be awful but also nostalgic.

Speaking of bad TV, I’ve chosen to wisely (unwisely) use some of my spare time to get caught up on the show Scandal. Is is the absolute worst. It’s the worst the way Grey’s Anatomy is the worst. Except worse. (As a trained writer, I have a vast array of vocabulary at my disposal. Worst.) Olivia Pope is awful, Fitz is horrible, every all of the characters are dumb and awful. Also, who runs the USofA while everyone is busy using the Oval Office to talk about affairs and divorces? No. It’s the worst. (But I’m all caught up.)

Theo has been sleeping 6-hour stretches and then 4-hour stretches at night! Hallelujah! The only problem is that the first stretch starts at 7:30, so I’m awake for a good chunk of it. But oh well. I’m still getting more sleep than I was. We quit letting him go to sleep with his pacifier, which he was not a fan of at first, but it’s helped so much. It’s helped him learn how to self-soothe when he comes out of a sleep cycle and it’s made all the difference in the world!

Over on Facebook you can apparently like or hate or cry at or mad face at or flip the bird to people’s statuses now or something. I’m not quite sure.

Also on Facebook my friend Julie asked a good question about the election and which way people will vote. What are you going to do? Even though I’m an ex-pat, I can still send in an absentee ballot. All I know is I can’t vote for Hillary and I can’t vote for Trump. So I’ll probably write in Tami Taylor.

My baby is going to wake up soon, and I should probably switch out the laundry. Speaking of which, we started using our cloth diapers this week. 

  
Yikes! Will I be able to keep it up? I like the idea of it because they’re so much cheaper and he looks so cute in them. But I’m very lazy and there’s a lot of laundry. We shall see!

What’s everyone up to this weekend? I hope it’s the best!

Weighting to Lose

February 17, 2016

Hello again!

I have not showered, I need to mop my floors, prep supper and fold laundry. So naturally I’m going to use this precious few minutes of Theo’s nap time to write you a blog post. Hooray!

Here are a few things:

What is everyone watching on TV these days?! Suggestions, please. TLC pretty much just airs the show, My 600 Pound Life all day long, so I need some good Netflix ideas. Although, my friend Rebecca just posted a wonderful article about how we should all be like Coach and Tami Taylor, so maybe I should just watch Friday Night Lights for the billionth time. Texas forever.

I need some help losing this pregnancy weight! Apparently I am not one of those people whose body becomes automatic supermodel whilst nursing. (Shocking.) My body would rather cling to these pounds with chubby hands. I just can’t seem to get the scale to budge. It may have something to do with the constant spoonfuls of peanut butter I eat directly from the jar, but I doubt it. TLC will probably be calling me to be on My 600 Pound Life pretty soon. (Also, is this new weird saggy stomach pouch ever going to go away? It scares and confuses me.)  Anyway, any mamas have weight loss tips and tricks that worked for you?

Apparently this is becoming a mommy blog. Because I need to post a pic of my boy who is nearly 13 weeks and has no trouble growing — deep and wide.

He’s also learning how to fall asleep without a sleep prop (code for pacifier) so that Mom doesn’t have to go replace it all night long. He’s loves this new lesson about as much as I love math, which is not very much at all.

Has everyone seen Donald Trump on Full House? I hope so.

Speaking of ridiculous politics, really America with this election season? I’m thinking it’s a good time to be an expat. I’ll just sit here on my year-long maternity leave and be judgmental. (While paying lots of taxes.)

Once upon a time ago this was a peaceful, cute sitting area.

OK, nap is over and someone needs entertaining. (Me.) Also, I think TLC is calling.

Talk to you soon!

Umm … apparently I gave birth to a human baby nearly three months ago. This is what they tell me, at least. And there are pictures to prove it, so I guess it happened.

I’m sorry I haven’t blogged about it all yet. I keep wanting to update my blog template and become an awesome sahm (that’s how all the cool people on the What to Expect mommy forums abbreviate stay-at-home-mom) blogger-type person, but then I have to choose between eating, showering, dressing, or watching The Bachelor while my son takes his 30 minute nap (he should be napping for 1.5 hours, but he scoffs at that idea), and in conclusion, I never blog. But I do know what Ben and Olivia and Chris Harrison are up to.

However, today is a new day!

So, my life has completely changed in every way. And in theory I knew that was happening, but then it happens. And then you realize that Rachel’s life after having a baby on Friends is not realistic. Because you never see that baby — Emma apparently doesn’t cry or eat or need attending to. You’re free to go to Central Perk alone every afternoon. And Rachel’s body is amazing immediately. And she’s not in pajamas until noon every day. And she’s not crying about the pain of breastfeeding. Thanks for nothing, Hollywood!

Anyway, back to my baby. This is Theodore Dale William Snyder. Theo for short. (Because with a name that ridiculously long, you need a “for short.”) Hi, little Theo!

IMG_7901

IMG_7912

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He was born on November 19, a week after my due date. Lazy.

I had to be induced, which meant that I spent the night going through early labor, and then the next morning was only 2.5 centimeters dilated, which was not cute. But THEN! The doctor broke my water at 8:30 in the morning and somehow I had delivered Theo by 11:24 — three hours later. Here are a few quick points about this labor and then we’ll move on before we get TMI:

  1. A fast labor is nice because three hours and you’re done!
  2. A fast labor is terrible because those are the most painful, intense, deathly hours of your life. No breaks in between contractions. No “stages” of labor. No relief. No fun.
  3. When you have a fast labor, you might give up all resolution to go med free and then beg for an epidural but then suddenly be dilated to an eight and realize that you are about to die and push out a baby and there will be no pain relief because there’s no time!
  4. If your doctor wants to monitor your contractions and the baby’s heartbeat your entire labor, you may as well give up on life. Being stuck in that bed is the worst and you won’t be able to do any of the massages or walks or baths that your classes tell you will make labor bearable.
  5. Suddenly you’re done! And you seriously feel nine gazillion times better within three seconds. And you never even look to see what the doctor may be stitching or piecing back together because suddenly your very own baby is on your chest and you did it and he’s beautiful.
  6. It happens how it happens. Fast, slow, epidural, pain, whatever. And somehow you don’t die, and somehow your body does what it’s supposed to, and somehow Jesus helps you, and somehow you suddenly have a son and become a family.
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8 lbs 7 oz. Theo, not me.

Wow. Being pregnant and giving birth shows you a whole new aspect of God and his care and creativity. He formed Theo inside of me. And he created me to be able to bring him life. And he made my body to be able to sustain him afterwards. It’s quite amazing, really.

Stretches with Wolves

Stretches with Wolves

So I had Theo in November and then began the process of healing and nursing and being awake for the rest of my life. The first three to four weeks were really hard. My body hurt in so many ways. I felt like all I did was feed him. He would be inconsolably fussy in the evenings. But my mom was there and Andrew’s mom was there and they were so helpful. Andrew was amazing and kept us scheduled when I couldn’t think straight. At three weeks old we traveled to the States so Theo could celebrate his first Christmas with my family. Then we spent time with Andrew’s family. And then suddenly Theo was six weeks old and I was going to take care of him by myself. How can something that weighs ten pounds and can’t move anywhere on its own be so terrifying? I don’t know, but it can.

Our little teacup piglet!

Our little teacup piglet!

Theo's a good eater. He's a cheerful, chubby kind of fellow.

Theo’s a good eater. He’s a cheerful, chubby kind of fellow.

And now we are somehow at 12 weeks! Everyone you talk to and everything you read says that it gets a bit easier at around the three month mark. And when you’re two weeks in, that reassurance makes you want to kill everyone because three months is years away and you’ll certainly be dead of sleep deprivation and nursing pain by then.

A rare moment of sleep.

A rare moment of sleep.

But we’re here. And I can already feel how much easier it is. He is learning to put himself to sleep a bit better. His naps are gradually becoming more dependable. Nursing is a million times better. He smiles and giggles and is becoming so much fun. (He still needs to practice sleeping longer at night, but we’ll get there. Right? Please?)

Yes, this white child with blue eyes came out of my body. He's only a quarter black. Like the Psych singing group.

Yes, this white child with blue eyes came out of my body. He’s only a quarter black. Like the Psych singing group.

I love this little friend. It is cliche, but I love him more than I thought I could. Being a parent is very different. It is very hard. And it is very amazing. Little by little as I go through this process, I understand a bit better how deep is the Father’s love for us. Vast beyond all measure.

Thanks for reading friends! I was interrupted about 1,000 times while writing this post, even though it was “nap time.” But hopefully I’ll get to write again soon. Goodbye from Theo and me!

I like to blog once every six or so months. Keeps the writing skills in shape.

One day, you guys. One day this will be a thriving blog with a fresh, new look and an author who writes on it more than never. It may not happen until the restored Eden, but it will happen.

Anyhoos. How is every all of you? To catch you up on all the exciting haps of my life (work and TV), here’s a little listy! (It is Friday, after all.)

  1. Apparently I am birthing a baby within the next three-ish weeks. Umm….

Here’s a bit of a progression for you. It’s gotten super-sized around here.

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I am having a baby so soon! I have decided that I am not one of those women who loves being pregnant. Good for those of you who are, but I find the hefting and maneuvering and groaning to get out of bed eighty times a night to go to the bathroom a bit excessive. Not my cup of tea. I’ve also had some issues with uterine fibroids (non-cancerous tumors on my uterus) that have sent me to the ER a few times, so that hasn’t helped. Overall, I’m ready to be not pregnant again.

It’s getting really exciting! I am feeling ready to meet this little man who is constantly kicking and punching and hiccuping. (What is he so busy doing in there? Sometimes he’s so active — very important things to do and nowhere to go.) What’s he like? Will we get along? Is he going to like Friday Night Lights? All things we need to know.

But then sometimes I am super nervous about it. First of all: labor. They showed us a nice little video at our prenatal class, and the lady in the video gave birth naturally, and she looked like she was having a semi-tough time, but mostly the baby just kind of slid out of her and then they celebrated and laughed and cried. Then we went home and I looked up some You Tube videos. HORRIFYING. These women were near death and screaming and HORRIBLE things were happening to their unmentionables. I can’t do it. Put me to sleep and take him out of my belly somehow and wake me in three months when my body has recovered.

Second of all: after labor, I have a baby! What do I do with him? What if he makes me cry all the time? (I hear that he will.) What if he isn’t into the food I offer him? What if he doesn’t like Friday Night Lights? Yikes.

Seriously, though, it’s pretty exciting. I already can tell that I love him so much, and I’ve put the Shema in his room so we can work on loving the Lord right away. This baby is making me a bit sappy though. The other day I started crying because pretty soon I won’t feel him in my belly anymore, and I felt sorry for Andrew who has never gotten to feel him move around inside of him, and then I watched an episode of Call the Midwife where a baby is born early and they think it’s dead, but then it’s alive! I pride myself on not letting my emotions control me.

Also, I get to buy him old man sweaters and teacup piglet hats.

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2. I have one more week of work before I go on my year-long maternity leave. Canada! You’re amazing. I’m so, so grateful to have the year. But it’s also weird to be leaving work for a year but not officially quitting. Work has been awesome lately — I got to teach a college Bible class, and this past summer I facilitated the whole church doing the Community Bible Experience where we read the New Testament together. I think I might miss work a bit.

3. What are all of the Netflix shows I should watch while I’m up feeding at 4 a.m.? Please leave suggestions. Unfortunately, Canadian Netflix is different than American, so probably only about half of what you recommend will be available to me. If so, I’ll allow you to mail me DVDs of the recommended shows. Thanks.

4. Did I tell you I got to hold a piglet the other day? Cause I did.

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5. After Target abandoned me they have apparently decided to start shipping to Canada. Except that Andrew heard a radio report and Target apparently is the worst at knowing how to plan to do business in a foreign country. The prices online are super high, which is because of the exchange rate. But most companies temper those prices because they know people will have to pay a lot for shipping. But not Target! Some lady tried to buy a pair of $25 pajamas and after Target added in her shipping costs and everything, her bill was over $70. So, basically, if Target doesn’t do like other companies and lower costs so that the overall price is manageable, no Canadians are going to order from them and they’ll shut down the online shipping and fail again! Target! For the love of all that is beautiful and Oh Joy and Nate Berkus, please get it together!

6. I don’t know what it means to whip or nae nae. I think I have a general idea of what “on fleek” means.

7. Canada just had an election. The season lasted for like 60 days or something and everyone was dying because it was so long and they were so tired of politics. Sweet, innocent Canadians.

OK, I have things to do, people. (Mindy Project, eating, maybe some freelance.) How are you? Leave me a little note to let me know. Joves!

 

 

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