All The Things

October 25, 2016

Oh haaay.

So many things we should talk about. When you haven’t blogged since May (seriously, May? I am such a slacker), so many things have come up like: Theo almost being a year old, our new favorite drama “This Is Us,” our new least favorite drama The Presidential Election, me going back to work next week, all my opinions on everything, and the fact that I am now a permanent resident of Canada!

We better get started.

So, this guy. What a fella.

 

Theo is 11 months old and will be walking very soon. He is smiley and funny and very often joyful. He’s a little too needy at times (aren’t we all), and he has a bad habit of throwing all of the food I try to feed him onto the floor, but other than that, he’s the cat’s pajamas. He has about five-ish teeth and enjoys using them to bite me on the hand or leg. He has been known to say Mama and Dada and Achoo when he feels like it. He loves waving, although lately his wave has turned into more of a salute (not in a good way — think Germany in the 30s. Just because he’s blue-eyed and has become blonde, his views have apparently gone wonky).


As many of you probably know, being a mom is weird. It is wonderful and hard and dumb and the best and terrible and beautiful all in about five minutes. I love Theo in a very different and more powerful way than I have ever loved anybody — my instinct is to protect him and care for him and comfort him. But sometimes he also bores me to death because I can only read that book about driving boats and combines across Canada so many times.


I am going back to work on Monday after my year of maternity leave. Seriously, I so appreciate this about Canada. I couldn’t have imagined going back to work when Theo was 6 weeks. I probably would have just stayed home with him, but I know not everyone has that luxury. But after a year, we are so much more settled, and I’m so much more confident in him, and it’ll be good. And to make it even better, I am only working mornings, and Andrew is only working afternoons this year. So we don’t have to do any daycare, we each get to spend quality time with Theo, and we each get to do some things we enjoy at work! I am very grateful for how this has turned out!

Speaking of gratefulness, I became a Canadian permanent resident this month!


We were expecting to have to wait at least another 6 months, but we got approved early. So, just to explain: I am still an American citizen. I am not a Canadian citizen. I am a permanent resident/landed immigrant/have a green card. This means that I am allowed to live and work anywhere in Canada, I have permanent healthcare, I have a normal social security number, etc. I basically can do everything except vote in Canadian elections. I am so happy that this process is done (it took two years and lots of money), but now I am settled and don’t have to stress when I go through customs!

So, I can’t vote in Canadian elections, but I do still get to vote in American ones. Goody. Just a couple of words on the thing we are over: the election. Over it.


I have been pretty vocal on Facebook about my dislike of Trump. I also dislike Clinton and will not vote for her. I don’t trust her, I think she’s a Shady McShadester, and I also hate her position on abortion. The reason I’ve been harsher about Trump is very related to my faith. Many of the Christians I am Facebook friends with are not considering voting for Clinton. But they might consider voting for Trump. I’ve just been so discouraged and frustrated with some leaders in the Christian community who have supported Trump when, if he were a Democrat, they would use every single thing about him (his multiple divorces, his affairs, his language, his bigotry, his sexist behavior, his flip-flopping) as reasons to denounce voting for him. But because they hate Clinton, ignoring all those things or calling them old news (although apparently Bill’s decades-old affairs aren’t old news), seems to be just fine. The hypocrisy astounds me. But, the argument goes, Clinton has done this and that and this as an elected official! True. Don’t vote for her. Trump probably will do this and that and this as an elected official as well. He’s never been one. Don’t give him a chance.

In my mind, both Trump and Clinton go against anything the Bible might have to say about leaders, wisdom, integrity or righteousness in any sense of the word. We are not electing a pastor, but we are electing a leader and can I really trust either of these people to stay true to any of their promises, lead with integrity or represent America well? Answer: no. Now, I know one of them will win. But I honestly don’t see a lesser of two evils here. And I also refuse to vote out of fear. I have been reading through the prophets in the Bible lately, and there is so much about poor leadership, but most importantly, about my responsibility to live a righteous life with the help of the Lord, no matter what the culture around me is doing. He is the one whose holiness I fear. So, I will send in my absentee ballot, and I will choose a presidential candidate, but you better believe it will not be Clinton or Trump. End scene.

Moving on to something that brings us joy instead of gloom: This Is Us!


Is this everyone’s new favorite drama in replacement of Parenthood? If not, it needs to be. As I watched the first episode, I was loving it anyway, but then I got to the end and my mind was blown, and you know how I love me some episodes that remind me (even in the smallest sense) of Lost. It’s just the best of both worlds. Please get to watching.

Well someone is standing up in his crib and acting like it’s the end of the world. (He was sweetly asleep one second ago.) I had better get going.

How are all of you? I will try to blog again before the Ivanka/Chelsea election of 2024.

Love you all!!

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Bread and Fitness

February 26, 2016

Happy Friday everyone!

First things first: Is everyone aware that Oprah loves bread and eats it every day? Because she does. Bread. Bread. Bread. #gotit #overthatcommercial #gomarrysomebreadalready

I on the other hand, have worked out this week and eaten perfectly (no bread) and gained a pound. So that’s cute.

So, my workouts. I’ve started a class called strollercize. I know. But here’s the thing: It’s hard. I’ve been super sore all week and it’s clearly getting me in shape. (Gained some weight.) These moms are hardcore and have been doing the class for awhile. Some of them started again at six weeks postpartum. #nothankyou. I was still trying to sort night from day at six weeks and I would’ve shot anyone who suggested a workout. But anyhoo, the class is a great workout and we really don’t do anything with our strollers except run laps around the track. (Well, I use the term “run” loosely when it comes to myself.) We do lots of strength training and I pretend to do some push ups. Strollercize it is, guys!

 

I was worn out, but Theo barely seemed winded. Lazy.

 
Fuller House is available on Netflix today! I’m kind of scared to watch it because it’s probably going to be awful but also nostalgic.

Speaking of bad TV, I’ve chosen to wisely (unwisely) use some of my spare time to get caught up on the show Scandal. Is is the absolute worst. It’s the worst the way Grey’s Anatomy is the worst. Except worse. (As a trained writer, I have a vast array of vocabulary at my disposal. Worst.) Olivia Pope is awful, Fitz is horrible, every all of the characters are dumb and awful. Also, who runs the USofA while everyone is busy using the Oval Office to talk about affairs and divorces? No. It’s the worst. (But I’m all caught up.)

Theo has been sleeping 6-hour stretches and then 4-hour stretches at night! Hallelujah! The only problem is that the first stretch starts at 7:30, so I’m awake for a good chunk of it. But oh well. I’m still getting more sleep than I was. We quit letting him go to sleep with his pacifier, which he was not a fan of at first, but it’s helped so much. It’s helped him learn how to self-soothe when he comes out of a sleep cycle and it’s made all the difference in the world!

Over on Facebook you can apparently like or hate or cry at or mad face at or flip the bird to people’s statuses now or something. I’m not quite sure.

Also on Facebook my friend Julie asked a good question about the election and which way people will vote. What are you going to do? Even though I’m an ex-pat, I can still send in an absentee ballot. All I know is I can’t vote for Hillary and I can’t vote for Trump. So I’ll probably write in Tami Taylor.

My baby is going to wake up soon, and I should probably switch out the laundry. Speaking of which, we started using our cloth diapers this week. 

  
Yikes! Will I be able to keep it up? I like the idea of it because they’re so much cheaper and he looks so cute in them. But I’m very lazy and there’s a lot of laundry. We shall see!

What’s everyone up to this weekend? I hope it’s the best!

Target is closing all of its Canadian stores.

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Who knew that my first blog post of 2015 would be about something so devastating? What am I supposed to do now, shop at WalMart?! #nothankyou #nothappening #never

I’ve been receiving texts, emails, and Facebook and Instagram posts all day from family and friends offering actual condolences because they knew I would be in mourning over this tragic turn of events. I’m not sure if I should be a bit embarrassed that my name is so closely associated with a cheap retail store in the minds of my friends, but whatever. It’s the truth. I love Target and it is leaving me.

It may be too soon for me to speak — raw emotions and all that — but I have been moving through the five stages of grief since hearing this heartbreaking news this morning (I move quickly), and I thought I’d share my processing with you, dear readers.

First, denial. I woke up this morning to a text from a friend who shared the news that Target Canada was closing. I shouted “NO!” and woke Andrew up. (Actually.) Then I Googled it (similar to Asking Jeeves, Mom) to see if it was actually true. My heart sank as articles confirming the worst started streaming insensitively down my iPhone screen.

Then the anger came rolling in. Canadians. Target is the best thing to have ever happened to you. You literally only have WalMart left as a “comparable” option. What if you want something not ugly? Where are you going to go now?! Why on earth didn’t you shop at Target more?

Next came bargaining. I tweeted Target Canada, Target US, Target Anywhere today and asked them to at least start shipping to Canada from the U.S. online store if they’re going to shut down. I need me some Target somehow. (Seriously, if you are a Target employee/executive who is reading this (quite likely, I’m sure), please consider shipping to Canada!)

The pinata at my Canadian bridal shower was filled with Target gift cards!

The pinata at my Canadian bridal shower was filled with Target gift cards!

Then the depression set in. I may have actually shed a tear. (Not lying.) Now I know that everyone comes to my blog for my practicality, preciseness, lack of drama, and refusal to exaggerate. But I do want to point out that I understand that the closing of a retail store is not an actual tragedy. I am still clinging to a very slight grip on reality. There are clearly things around the world and family and friends who are dealing with real, heartbreaking and difficult things that are immeasurably beyond me not getting to buy Nate Berkus lamps any longer. A lot of what I’m saying is for the sake of my favorite friend: hyperbole. But I am actually feeling a bit sad about Target leaving, and here’s why:

1. I get all of my everything there. Clothes, snacks, shoes, purses, makeup, deodorant, nail polish, thank-you cards (maybe someday you’ll get a wedding thank-you), gum, rugs, lamps, shower curtains, shampoo, toilet paper…you get the point. Target is my go-to. They have cuter, cheaper stuff than most places. I love it.

2. In a weird way, Target feels like home to me. In case you don’t know, the very first Target opened in Minnesota. The Target headquarters are located in downtown Minneapolis. When I was growing up in Minnesota, WalMart was scarce, but Target was everywhere. My mom loved shopping there, and it’s just where we went for all of our household needs. When I moved to Colorado after graduating from college, I would often go to Target by myself after work. I would shop for stuff for my house, buy a shirt or two, and check out the latest makeup. Something about being at Target while living so far away from home was comforting to me. It reminded me of Mom and Auntie Faye and all the times my brother and I would buy cherry Icees from the Target food court.

I lived in Colorado Springs for six years, and then I decided to move to Denver to work on my Master’s. It was a big change and I missed my friends. I was living alone for the very first time, and it felt weird. My apartment in Denver had a Target less than a mile away, and I remember going there for the first time after I moved and feeling a bit less lonely. I stepped into the store, and it was familiar, a comfort.

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Then one day I met a Canadian boy, and I liked him a lot. We started talking and texting and holding hands. We decided to love each other, and then get married. This meant that I would move to Canada, which is kind of a big deal. And, as silly as it sounds, when I heard that Target was opening in Canada, it made me happy. It made me feel like even though I was moving away again, this time to a whole different country, there would still be a piece of home there. I could go to Target and it would feel familiar, I could look at the same items my mom was looking at, and somehow it would feel like I was not quite so far away.

So, as trite as it may be, that’s why I am actually sad that Target is leaving Canada. It is my place. It feels homey and comfortable, and that will soon be gone. But thankfully, in the last few months, home is now wherever I’m with Andrew.

But the question remains: where will I get everything cute from now on?

The next step is acceptance. I’m not quite there yet, mostly because I enjoy being dramatic and exaggerated for as long as possible. But it will come, I’m sure. And if not, you have lots of Target-related blog posts to look forward to. (I think next will be a pictorial essay tour of my home in which I point out all the things I got at Target.)

So, I am sitting shiva today. Send BBQ chips and flowers to cheer me.

Target Canada, you will be missed.

 

 

Responsibilities

May 21, 2014

Best friends!!!

It has been so long! How have I survived without you? More importantly, how have you survived without me? I mean, it has to be tough to get by day-to-day without all the reports of what I’m whining about, what I’m watching and what kind of chips I’m eating.

Have you been so sad not knowing whether I’m wearing yoga pants or my Colorado sweatpants? (p.s. Andrew is not a fan of the Colorado pants. I don’t know why.)

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Anyway, dry those tears, my darlings. I’m here today.

Well, obviously, I haven’t been blogging as much because I am a worker. I work. Like a lot of days out of the week. Who made these work-week rules, anyway? I have working responsibilities now, you guys. These responsibilities include: getting up earlier than 9 a.m., showering earlier than 10 a.m., being dressed earlier than 11 a.m., smiling at people earlier than noon, watching fewer than 43 hours of Netflix by 1 p.m., etc.

Responsibilities.

I am in my third week at my job, and so far so good! I am still getting settled and learning and like such as. I am being a good listener, and so far, people still think I am nice, so I have them fooled. I did begin to share some of my Old Testament weirdness, but there’s only so long I can hold it in, you guys!

On Saturday, the church I work at hosted a Steven Curtis Chapman concert. That’s right, SCC saddled up his horses and headed to The Deer.

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I never loved old Stevie (that’s what he’s asked me to call him) when I was younger, but the concert was actually pretty good. He shared some cool stuff and led us into a really beautiful time of worship. Mostly, hearing his songs reminded me of being a teenager, which reminded me of dc talk, which made me literally yearn for a dc talk reunion tour. Guys, if that ever happens, I will cry. Like actual tears. Of joy. And then I will go to each and every concert on the tour. What will people think? I don’t really care.

On Monday, we Canadians celebrated Victoria Day! It is a very important holiday to those of us who are Canadian (I’m not Canadian). I think it’s maybe about the queen? It’s basically Memorial Day, but a week early. We honored the queen by going to Calgary to shop and eat brunch at this cute little diner with cute little signs.

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My hair looks very long and droopy in that picture. Kind of like Lady.

Lady

I am busy not eating sugar ever. Do you know what is delicious? Sugar.

Guess what is coming up in two and a half months?!

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Notice that my phone service is provided by Bell. A foreign phone company, because I’m a foreigner now. I hope I remember how to speak English when I return to the States. (I think I will. A lot of people seem to know it up here.)

OK, I best be going. I’m a worker, remember. Responsibilities.

Have a jovely day, besties! I’ll try to talk to you again soon!

 

 

 

Points For Discussion

February 19, 2014

Here are some things I would like us to discuss today:

* This Wendy’s Ciabatta commercial. Why is it a thing? No.

* Have you guys been watching the Olympic snowboard cross races? Why is this a sport?!?! Basically someone dies in every single race. Five snowboarders race through a crazy course at breakneck speeds, and at least two of them crash and break their entire bodies every single time. I don’t think I’ve seen one race where everyone has finished. Every race. Someone dead.

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hurt

* I made these Thai chicken quesadillas the other day and they were delicious. I highly recommend them.

* Here’s a girl HOLDING A TINY HORSE!!!!! Please share your thoughts of joy and love about this best picture ever in the comments.

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* Speaking of Olympics. (We were speaking about the Olympics a couple points ago, you guys. Please keep up.) Did everyone see that sweet young skier with the wife and baby? And he loves Jesus? And he does crazy flips on skis? I liked him. Also, apparently all the cool skiers and boarders live in Colorado. Let’s go meet them. And … I’m super happy for the American ice dancers. But also, they kind of bug me. Like, cut your hair, Charlie. And calm down the eye makeup, girl whose name I am too lazy to look up. Anyone else? No? Just me because I’m a horrible person?

* My friends and I have been working on wedding craft projects. And if you know me, you know I am not good at craft projects. So, basically, my wedding will not look pretty, and things will probably fall apart in the middle of vows. But if you’re there, just smile and tell me I did a good job anyway. Thanks.

* Just waiting for news on the work visa. #storyofmylife. No updates.

* Finally, in conclusion, to end with: Has everyone seen the best video ever?! Landry and Crucifictorious are with Amber and Max at the Luncheonette! Parenthood and Friday Night Lights. Together. You must watch it because: Landry is the best. Billy Riggins might be there. Tim Riggins is mentioned. So many FNL references. Texas Forever.

Did everyone have a good weekend? Did you spend it watching football? I didn’t, but I hear that the Broncos won and are going to the AFC championship. Is this correct? Two games away from Superbowl XXIIIXX67XXII00*$(#)? Is this true?

On Thursday night we went to Edmonton to take some students to their improv performance. Andrew doesn’t teach improv, but he does drive a bus.

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On the drive, Tara the drama teacher leaned over and asked me if I had always dreamed of dating a hipster bus driver. Obviously.

Andrew is super proud of his hat — in all its ironic corduroy duck glory. #tryingtoohard

hipsterhatWe saw Frozen, you guys! We thought the music was great! And I liked the plot built around the sisters. And I wish Sven had stayed a darling baby reindeer for the whole movie. Guess who didn’t love the hilarious snowman? Someone in a duck hat. I thought he was so funny and cute! Also, we saw the movie with about 6 million children in the theater (is it sad that two adults saw a children’s movie for their Saturday evening entertainment?) and they were so funny to listen to. They basically talked throughout the whole movie — “Why is she sad?” “This is scary!” “Will they find Elsa?” “Why didn’t Sven stay a darling baby reindeer?” “I thought they lived in Norway or something; why is the whole town shocked to see snow?” “Hahahah, Olaf is hil-ar-i-ous” (everyone except Andrew)! “Who knew Kristen Bell had such a good singing voice?!” “Olaf’s wish for summer is a bit morbid.” “I wish my waist were as skinny as Anna’s.” (Maybe I was the one who talked through the whole movie.)

I mean, what’s not to love?

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On Sunday, Andrew’s niece Abbey was dedicated to the Lord at church. Then, because she will be one this week, we had a birthday party back at Stacy and Jeff’s. We ate so much good food, and Abbey spent most of the day saying “Oh, wow!” to the helium balloons.

I failed at my fancy diet this weekend. Sometimes fats and carbs need to be combined for deliciousness reasons.

I have somehow accumulated about 60 Target bags since I’ve been here. No one knows how it happened. Mystery.

My friend Suzanne posted this link that compared jeans at Old Navy, Gap and Expensive Stores. Basically, I have to quit buying jeans at Old Navy. Like, it is no longer an option. Look at the pictures!!!

OK, gotsta go. I have laundry to do and fats and carbs to not eat together. Have a happy day!

A Parade of Words

July 24, 2013

OK, lots to update you on, including how I am a very famous celebrity in Carstairs, Alberta, due to how I was the star of their Beef and Barley Days parade. That’s right, star. That’s right: beef and barley.

But before we get to that, let’s talk about how I am bored with the name George. I mean, it’s fine, William and Kate — I’ll allow it — but it’s just not that inventive. Also, it’s interesting to be in Canada when royal-type things happen. They’re still a part of the commonwealth, and Queen Elizabeth is on the money and everyone here talks with a British accent (not that last one). But in America or Canada, everyone just loves them some William and Kate. And also, if I ever have a baby, guess what I will not be wearing the day after: wedges. Nor will I have makeup on. Nor will anyone care to have me come wave to them. I kind of felt bad for Kate. She had a baby one second ago, and then had to put on heels and answer questions. Royal life though, amiright?

OK.

I like paragraph breaks today.

Last weekend was Fairs and Fairs and Fairs Galore! (That’s what I’m thinking of titling my next book. I’m still deciding on the topic.)

On Friday, we went to Red Deer’s Westerner days. This is where we were supposed to see the Canadian Rabbit Hopping Club, but apparently they had packed up and hopped off to terrorize others because they were nowhere to be found! My heart was sad until we found the SuperDogs show! These dogs could jump and catch and leap and dance and even play hockey! It was actually pretty cool.

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Then we went to the trade show, and got lemonades, and watched the chuckwagon races. Andrew was proud of his new yellow backpack and yellow phone case, and was pretty sure that no one would be able to spot the phone because it blended into the bag. I told him my blog readers were keen and sharp and basically just have eyesight, so you would be up for the (non)challenge.

IMG_4235I think I can barely see it.

On Saturday, we went to Andrew’s hometown of Carstairs for the aforementioned parade! Andrew’s dad is a cattle buyer, so we went with the cattle theme and advertised for Bill. Andrew’s dad drove the Kubota, and we rode in front and threw candy and played an auctioneering song. Also, we wore these unfortunate hats. Also, we were a HIT. Bill got creative and would drive us directly to the kids so we could hand them candy: service-oriented parade float, you guys. It was so fun!!

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IMG_4239We’ve been getting calls all week, asking us to be in parades across the country.

Then we went to an art show and lunch and explored Carstairs. It’s about 3,500 people now, but it was smaller when Andrew was a lad. (I’m going to use the word “lad” from now on.) We walked to his school — one school for K-12, and we went on the teeter-totter, which I apparently don’t know how to use and someone made relentless fun of me for it. Why don’t I know how to use a teeter-totter? I got on it and we went back and forth, but, according to Andrew, I was doing something wrong (I’m still not sure what. Isn’t the point just to go up and down? I blame it on lack of recess at home school.)

Then we went to a community dinner at the curling rink, and it reminded me so much of Dillon, Texas, that I was sure Coach and Tami were there. And probably Julie too, but let’s ignore her because she’s the worst.

This was probably taken in Carstairs, Alberta.

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OK, I feel this post was brought to you with extra rambling today. SORRY. But I think you’ll manage. Have a good Wednesday! (Is it Wednesday? Summer days are confusing.)

Bye!

Broken

March 27, 2012

If you came here looking for hilariousness, you are in the wrong place today, my friends.

Today I feel sad and disheartened and sickened. I am tired of what sin does to us — how it divides and breeds hatred, fear and accusations. I am disappointed with how I contribute to this evil through my thoughts, words and actions. I am frustrated with the lack of compassion in my life and in the lives of others — we are so slow to listen, quick to speak and quick to become angry. We hurt one another, and in a desire to protect ourselves and our own interests, we allow ourselves to spew hatred and fester in bitterness.

Non-Christians do it.

Christians do it.

We all do it.

In this past week I’ve heard and read and seen things that make my heart ache. The topic really isn’t that important because the source is all the same.

Sin.

We are ruined by sin.

It overtakes and lies and controls.

What is most painful in my own life, and what is the most disheartening when I see it in other believers is that we so often allow sin to devour. We see the enemy, prowling, waiting for a chance to pounce, and we call him over with glee. Instead of rejoicing that Jesus has freed us from sin, we snuggle up with heavy chains, shackling ourselves back into a life of slavery. The things we know we shouldn’t do, we do. The things that we know we should do, we reject.

We are just like our ancestors. We always resist the Holy Spirit.

What wretched people we are.

Liars, thieves, murderers, accusers, idolators. We are prideful, judgmental, arrogant, condescending, rude. We justify, complain, defend. We are bitter, angry, hurt, frightened, abusive, dangerous.

But by the grace of God. But by the grace of God.

We have been washed, sanctified and justified — so let’s live like it. The Spirit of the Living God — the God who raised Jesus from the dead — is at work in us.

The God who raised Jesus from the dead.

You guys. Let’s not grieve Him. Not with unwholesome talk, not with bitterness, rage, anger, slander or malice.

We are children of the Most High. Adopted, bought, heirs. Let’s allow the Holy Spirit to sanctify. Let’s share the shalom of our God. Let us hear together:

Well done.

Yes, I am disheartened and saddened by myself, by others. But even in the midst of this, my heart skips a beat.

And it leaps for joy.

One day.

He will make all things new.

He will restore and heal and bind up. He will redeem what we have broken. He will invite believers in Yeshua to dwell with Him. We will be His people, and He will be our God. Every inclination of our heart will be to worship Him in purity.

And we will no longer be ruined by sin.

Because He was ruined for us.

Truth. Come, Lord Jesus.

And until then, sanctify us. Teach us to obey. Soften our hearts.

Help us to love you, Lord God, with all that we are. And to love our neighbors as ourselves.

Does All Mean All?

March 21, 2012

I don’t have much to report on today because all I ever do is play Draw Something. Oh, and I also check books out from the library in hopes that they will help me with my thesis, but they do not. Then I throw those books at people in the student center. I am a treat.

I guess Denver has some new quarterback no one has ever heard of.

So we’ve been translating Joshua in Hebrew. Like I mentioned before, it’s kind of a tough book because Israel is on the warpath and they kill a lot of people. Joshua 10 and 11 talk about the Israelites systematically going through the southern part of the land and then the northern part of the land — attacking towns and killing everyone in them. Over and over again it says things like, “they left no one who breathed” and “they utterly destroyed everyone in it.” But what’s interesting is that they did not kill everyone. A couple chapters later in Joshua 14, Caleb is receiving his inheritance and he talks about how he’ll need to drive out the Anakim who are in his land. Well, in Joshua 11, it says that they killed all the Anakim in Caleb’s land — there were none left. In Joshua 17 and 18, we see that there are still Canaanites in the land that work for them  — Canaanites that had supposedly all been killed a couple chapters ago.

This is where it is important for us to recognize that the Ancient Near Eastern (ANE) mindset was different than ours. They were not concerned with direct quotes or precise numbers like we are today. We’ve created a system of journalism and reporting history that is very precise. It is our standard, but it wasn’t theirs. It just wasn’t their thing — which doesn’t make it bad, just different. You can look all over ANE documents, and you see the kind of language that’s in the Bible. When Joshua says that the Israelites killed any and everyone, it means that they were now the ones in charge in the land. They took it over, they took down their kings, they defeated the strongholds of the towns around them. It’s hyperbolic language that is used to talk about how Israel was successful in taking over the land. In the Hebrew we see the repetition of words like “all” and “completely.” The author is making a point — they hadn’t killed everyone, but they were successful in taking over the Promised Land. It does not at all make the biblical text in Joshua untrue. It’s just their way of writing about it — it would’ve made complete sense to the ANE mindset.

A lot of times when we study the Bible, we impose our modern, Western sensibilities on it. But it was written by ancient people with an Eastern mindset. So we don’t read those passages and think that they are false or wrong or untrue. We read those passages and try to understand what the writers meant, how the readers would’ve understood the text, what the author was trying to communicate. Yes? Yes.

OK, I hafta get back to drawing stick figures on my iPhone. C-ya!

Feed the Birds

February 24, 2012

Fri! Day! List! Day!

1. My back, you guys, has given up on life. It’s been hurting all week and last night at kickboxing it decided to quit working. So I’ve been icing it and lying on the couch and whining a lot.

2. I love this tiny little duck. He is on a very important mission. He is probably quacking a case. He’s specquackular. I really think his detective skills are all they’re quacked up to be. You guys, I’ll be here all night. Seriously. I can’t get off the couch cause of my back.

3. So, I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. I will say it again. You should start watching the sitcom Happy Endings. It’s on Wednesday nights on a channel. Maybe ABC? Anyway, it kills me. Last night they called one of the characters “Tuppence a Bag” because he attracts birds. Mary Poppins plus clever nicknames? Exactly. Start watching.

4. When you have a dog who’s been rescued from a tsunami, you have to fill his water bowl in a special way.

5. Laura and the fam are living in the surveyor’s house for the winter. It is the largest, grandest place they have ever lived. It has three rooms. And a pantry. Pa made a checkers board and he and Laura play. Ma doesn’t care for it.

6. For some reason, these bacon and corn griddle cakes look so good to me. But they are filled with fat, so I’m not going to make them. Until a day that my resolve is weak. So someone make them and report on the deliciousness, please!

7. Landon Pigg is a musician who is dating Mae Whitman (Amber on Parenthood). He has a new song and the Parenthood cast made the video for it. They’re very bad at lip syncing, but it’s super cute.

Okey dokes. I’m going to try to get a massage. Have a great weekend!