Hi, Hi!

Here are the three jobs I would like to have: 1. Mom 2. Adjunct Professor of Awesomeness and 3. Professional Blogger. Unfortunately, I have zero of those three jobs right now, and instead have different job-type things, and school-type things, and life-type things to do, which means my poor bloggy suffers so much. So, if anyone figures a way to help me achieve my goals, lemme know.

There’s way too much to catch up on in my uber-fascinating life, so I’ll just give you a quick list of things that I’ve totally been consistently doing every day.

1. Running four miles daily.

2. Eating only vegetables and things without high fructose corn syrup.

3. Studying diligently for two hours a night.

4. Not spending too much money at Target.

5. Updating this blog three times a week.

And then there’s the list of things I definitely haven’t done lately.

1. Become best friends with the McDonald’s drive-thru staff because I get fast food on my way up to class each week.

2. Gone to only one workout class at the Y in the last 47 months.

3. Thought it was a good idea to buy trendy knee-high socks.

4. Registered for a class that may not count toward my degree program, simply because I am unhealthily obsessed with Jewish things.

5. Seen the new Twilight movie.

So, as you can see, I’ve been very busy doing and not doing a lot of things lately. I also took my dreaded midterm–I have never studied so much in my entire life. I memorized details of ancient Hittite treaties and festivals celebrated in extinct cultures. Not my idea of a super fun weekend, but I’m actually really glad that I learned all of it. It’s been great fun to learn more about the Bible’s context and people.

I’ve also been too lazy to blow dry my hair this week, which means I’ve been wearing it super curly. I look like I have a lion’s mane.

Those are most of the exciting haps. There have been others, but I’m sure you don’t need to hear the details of all my McDonald’s orders. I will recommend that every all of the people should see the show Wicked, because it is amazing (insert Kelly Kapoor voice here). Also, make sure to get your Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes dropped off by Monday. And, one last thing–you should get Switchfoot’s new album, “Hello Hurricane.” It is way good–both musically and lyrically. Check out their video, “Mess of Me” for a taste of the sweet goodness.

OK, just wanted to say “hi” and that “I miss you” and that “I totally haven’t been eating McDonald’s or seeing vampire/werewolf/love story movies,” and that “Jesus loves you.” Have a good weekend!

Highly Favored

Oh friends, my blog has suffered greatly over the last few weeks. Poor Mr. Blog. So lonely and neglected.

Let’s see, what has happened? I was sick with a bad cold for a bit. Over a weekend. Who wants to be sick during the weekend? No one I know. Sickness is supposed to happen on a Wednesday or something. Get it right next time, body!

I discovered my new favoritest thing ever in the world: teacup piglets! That’s right, a piglet. A piglet that is so small it fits into a teacup. Not convinced that you should love Tiny Teacup Tucker? Well, then take a look at this!

That’s what I thought! If that isn’t the most adorable thing you have ever seen in your whole entire all of life, then we should be friends so that I too can enjoy the adorable stuff that you get to see all the time. Don’t you just love him? How about this guy?

He is so vewwy thirstee.

He haz sleepy times.

So that’s what I’ve been up to lately. Pretending that I actually want a real, live pig living in my house simply because it is small and enjoys a spot of tea.

Anyway. As you can tell, I’ve been busy and unable to blog.

Other things have happened lately, I’m sure. But my memory is not so good now that I’m in my late twenties. All the naps and things run together. I am getting ready to fail my midterm for my Old Testament class in a couple weeks. It is going to be so hard because we’re supposed to memorize about 40 billion essay questions. And, as previously mentioned, the old memory is slippin’.

So, Martin Smith from the band Delirious?, came and sang at our chapel at David C. Cook last week. He’s written some beautiful worship songs over the years, so it was awesome to have him there. He’s just finished work with a ton of other artists (Michael W. Smith, Steven Curtis Chapman, Chris Tomlin, Tim Hughes, Matt Redman, Darlene Zschech, etc.) on a project called Compassion Art. They got together and wrote a bunch of songs, and all the proceeds of the album go to different charities committed to freeing people from poverty.

Martin talked about the project, and then he sang “Highly Favoured,” one of the songs from the Compassion Art album. (They’re British, so they spell things funny. Right, then.) Here are the lyrics to the chorus:

Majesty and mercy meet me in this moment, how can it be that I’ve been chosen by the King?

There’s no greater honour, there’s no greater treasure, than to be known and loved by You.

I am highly favoured; I am highly favoured.

The Watoto Children’s Choir from Uganda sings those words. The children in this choir are orphans. Many are HIV positive. Some were child soldiers in northern Uganda. Most have experienced more horror than any of us ever will.

And they sing joyfully about how they are highly favored by God.

It breaks my heart. It makes me ashamed. If these broken and battered children can sing about God’s favor for them, how on earth can I ever sit and pout when God doesn’t deliver the way I want Him to? I am supremely blessed. I have physical comforts most of the world cannot imagine. I am surrounded by a community of friends who care about me. I have a family who loves me. I have God’s very Word at my fingertips.

How do I ever doubt God’s love? If these children — suffering from HIV, missing their parents, scarred from war — can recognize God’s love and favor in their lives, how arrogant of me to choose to ever ignore it in my own.

It was a beautifully heartbreaking reminder. We are highly favored by God. It is true. Always. We have been chosen by the King. Praise Him for it.

My Thumb Was Injured. Injured Bad.

I am a hardcore softballer.

Well, people. It has been a busy week. I’ve gone to class, I’ve experienced winter and now summer again, I’ve napped, and I’ve avoided working out.

I’ve also sustained and recovered from a serious contusion to my phalange matrix. In other words, I bruised my thumbnail. But seriously, it hurt really bad, you guys! I was being a rockstar at my park and recreation, co-ed, slow pitch softball game … and I was trying to get an out at second base. Because of the rockstarness I totally got the out (let’s not mention the 83 other errors I had during the game), and when I came back up with the ball after the tag, my thumbnail was bent backward. My thumb was BROKEN.

Or actually it wasn’t broken at all, but I had to push my thumbnail back into place, which was disgusting, people. And then it was bleeding and we had to search far and wide for a band-aid — it was all very dramatic. But that is not all.

I woke up during the middle of the night because it was aching so badly. I could feel the injury spreading throughout my entire thumb — what if it had to be amputated? There was no possible way I’d be able to go to work the next day — how would I be able to type?! And I didn’t think it would be healed by next week — I’d have to quit the softball team forever and morosely watch the rest of the games from the bleachers, my thumbnail broken and heavily bandaged.

And what if my thumbnail was so badly injured that it fell off? The humiliation would be unbearable and I’d have to walk around wearing gloves for all eternity. Maybe I could buy something like Michael Jackson’s sparkly one for special occasions. What if this injury somehow affected my ability to have children?! I wasn’t quite sure how, but when you’re suffering from a bruised thumbnail at 2 a.m. all manner of tragedy seems possible. I dragged myself back to bed, convinced that it was my last night before my life was ruined by the pain and ostracization my mangled thumb would cause me.

When I woke up the next morning, my thumb was fine. I have lived to be dramatic another day!

Anyhoosy, after The Great Thumb Injury of 2009, I decided I needed some rest and relaxation. A few girls and I did a Bible study together this past summer, and we decided to do an overnight retreat in a cabin — a cabin about 20 minutes from home. But still — it felt getaway-ish. We had lots of fun — we went to tea, went apple picking, watched Lost, did a craft, played cards, watched FOTB, sat around a campfire, and ate lots and lots of food. We spent some time talking about our lives and where we’re at with trusting God. All in all, it was a good weekend with some lovely ladies.

Speaking of trusting God, I like these verses: “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds” — Hebrews 10:23–24.

So today I will try to hold tightly to the hope I have in Jesus. And I will do my best to encourage those around me. This will probably be best accomplished by not continuing to whine about my perfectly fine thumbnail.

Have a good Monday, friends — He who promised is faithful.

I Laugh in the Face of Danger–and Sanity.

Let’s start this post with some conversation about current political events, like such as, The Emmys. I didn’t see them—what were the haps? Good, bad, funny? Let me know. In other news, the source of all my accurate political information, “Weekend Update,” was on last Thursday. That opening skit was hilarious. No one told poor Joe Wilson that the plan had changed—how embarrassing.

Here is a disturbing trend that has recently come to my attention: I eat constantly. As in, I am always eating and never not eating. This, coupled with the fact that I work out zero times ever, is bad news all around. I probably need to start training for something again, since the fear of the humiliation of collapsing in a giant heap during a race of some type is the only thing capable of motivating me in the slightest.

So, Colorado has decided that the last day of summer = winter. It snowed yesterday. It didn’t stick or anything, but still. Sunday was in the upper seventies, and Monday was Winter Wonderland. Colorado’s schizophrenia is in full effect. This cooler weather has allowed me to wear my new red boots, though! I am a boots fiend this year. I’ve gotten a few comments on them including, “Wow, those are sure a bright oxblood color” and “Hmm, those boots are saggy.” Fashion–it’s my middle name.

Last night as I was trying to go to sleep, I thought I smelled something weird in the house. Jaci had sprayed her boots with a leather protector thing (seriously, we are about the boots in my house), so I assured myself that that was it. However, I got a sneaking suspicion that maybe it was carbon monoxide and we would all wake up dead. But then I remembered that carbon monoxide is odorless, so that wouldn’t be causing the smell. However, I was not to be fooled! I figured that there was probably a gas leak, which I could smell, and also odorless carbon monoxide filling my lungs with death at that very moment. Suddenly I felt a headache coming on and I was having trouble taking deep breaths—due to all of the poisonous gases and also, the complete insanity.

Somehow I managed to fall asleep (it was probably the carbon monoxide putting me into a coma) and I dreamed about shopping at Target. And then I woke up not dead, which was such good news! So I hopped in the shower, breathing deeply and humming joyfully in praise of my renewed chance at life and boot-wearing. My enthusiasm must have been a bit much, though, because I totally tripped as I was stepping out of the tub. I fell completely down and ended up sliding around on the floor like a turtle. My shin is majorly bruised, and also, my life has embarrassed me yet again. Oh well. At least my body stood strong against the carbon monoxide.

Have you guys been hearing, “Say Hey” on the radio? It just makes me happy every time I hear it. Watch it and get happy too.

Have a good day, friendsies. I will be playing softball tonight in freezing temperatures and with a broken shin. But it’s OK because I defeated death last night and didn’t succumb to the non-existent carbon monoxide in my house, so life is good!

Loves!

Denise

A Little Bit of This. Oh, and Also, That.

Where have I been all my life? I have not blogged in ages. Ages, people! So, as a result of all of the letters I’ve been getting in the mail lately, pleading with me to please start blogging again, I’ve decided to write you a nice little post. I’ve also decided to quit sending myself letters in the mail.

Let’s see, what’s happened lately? I went to Steve and Ginna’s wedding in Fargo, North Dakota. Aren’t they sweet?

I also got to see my mom, grandma and grandpa while I was there. I would post a picture of that, but I didn’t take any because my mom and I were too busy walking around Target and telling each other secrets. That’s about what we like to do when we get together.

I also got to go to my friend Suzanne’s wedding, which was awesome. She got married at a really cool horse farm–it was delightful. Here we are being cutsey at the wedding.

I’ve attended my second grad school class. Is it bad that I spent most of it keeping track of how many times my curious friend spoke up during class? I think I’ll call him
Whiskers.

Whiskers was actually much more well behaved than I expected. He did walk into the classroom in the middle of asking someone a question about the quiz we had to take. And then he did ask a question of the professor during the middle of the quiz. And he asked a few during break time as well. But there were only one or two during the actual lecture, which I thought was pretty impressive.

Also, who forgot to tell me that “The Office” premieres this week? I had no clue! Have there been previews and such on NBC? This shocker is causing me to rethink my priorities. I’ve obviously not been watching enough TV lately, so I’m going to have to work on that.

I have managed to keep up on some media, though. This past weekend I saw the movie 500 Days of Summer which I loved. It stars the kid from “3rd Rock from the Sun” and the girl from Elf, otherwise known as Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel. (What kind of name is that, Zooey? Did your parents like J.D. Salinger? So do I! Let’s be friends.) I loved the style of the director, I loved the clothes, and I loved the plot — it’s not your typical romantic comedy. Also, it was hilarious. Like a ninja.

I turned 27 recently, so naturally, on my birthday I looked up Jewish birthday traditions. I need psychiatric help. But I did find something cool.

Jews have a yearly Psalm based on how old they are. You take your age plus 1. So, since I am entering my 28th year, I am supposed to memorize Psalm 28 and then recite it every day this year. So far, I’ve not memorized it, but I have been reading it. I like it.

Not only do I think it has some good advice/warning/hope for this year, but verse seven is one of my favorite verses ever. I memorized it a long time ago when I was feeling super depressed as I started college. I would repeat it to myself whenever I was feeling down. Anyhoo, here’s the whole Psalm so you can see what I plan to read/recite this year.

To you I call, O LORD my Rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit.

Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help, as I lift up my hands toward your Most Holy Place.

Do not drag me away with the wicked, with those who do evil, who speak cordially with their neighbors but harbor malice in their hearts. Repay them for their deeds and for their evil work; repay them for what their hands have done and bring back upon them what they deserve. Since they show no regard for the works of the LORD and what his hands have done, he will tear them down and never build them up again.

Praise be to the LORD, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trust in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one. Save your people and bless you inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever.

Good times. My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. What’s your Psalm for this year??

Is My Silverware Waving at Me?

So yesterday was my birthday. I turned old. Let’s not talk about it.

But let’s do talk about my wonderful friends. They took me out to dinner and then we came back and had chocolate/peanut butter ice cream cake, which could not have been any tastier. And they all got me really wonderful gifts. I was given gift cards to The Gap, Banana Republic and White House Black Market. I am hoping to get this darling little dress with that sweet gift card action.

Also, I am quite prepared to be a world-class chef! I got a cute new red baking dish, a red serving platter (I like red), a promise of the new Pioneer Woman cookbook when it comes out next month, and a Jewish cookbook! I will be making cheese blintzes and challah bread galore.

Speaking of Jews, I also received a Jewish calendar and a darling retro children’s book about Israel. (Apparently my friends have just decided to accept my neurosis and go with it.)

I was also given a framed photo of Chip the Chipmunk so that he can live on in my heart. And I received some beautiful roses at work. And also, I got this spoon.

Isn’t it … neat? Guess what you can’t see? The fact that if you turn it around, it has a butt crack. I am very sorry for the graphic language, but I am also very sorry that I received such a graphic mixing spoon complete with arms, legs, a belly button and, oh, did I mention that it has a butt crack? I mean, what do you do? I thought you should share in my horror joy … for the great gift … thanks, Alecia!

Anyway, I have great friends and I so appreciated being able to spend my birthday with them.

My fantasy football draft is tonight. I’ve done it for quite a few years with my former co-workers at the Focus Leadership Institute. Every year I pretend like I’m going to research players and stats beforehand, and every year I arrive at the draft and end up asking something like, “Is Adrien Brody a good choice for a running forward this year?” Should be fun times.

In other news, I am embarrassed by my life yet again. I was in a doctor’s office recently, and I brought book six of the Harry Potter series to read while I was waiting. It is an excellent book and I know a bazillion adults who would say the same. So, overall, I’m pretty comfortable with my decision to love Harry Potter books because they are well-written and interesting and not just for children, OK?

So, anyhoo, I was busy traveling through the pensieve with Harry and Dumbledore when a boy and his mother walked into the doctor’s office. This boy was the tiniest of tiny boys — blond and darling and tiny. He and his mother sat down to wait for their appointment. Tiny boy, knowing he had to wait, grabbed the reading material he had brought with him. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire…

He opened the book with his tiny, little child hands and began reading with his tiny, little child eyes. I stared at him with my giant adult eyes, and with my giant adult hands desperately trying to hide the cover of my Harry Potter book. Tiny boy and I read on, both lost in the magic and mystery of Hogwarts.

Embarrassed. By. My. Life.

Well, I must be off, friends. I’ve got birthday thank-yous to write and tiny children to meet for book club. Have a fantabulous day!

Chip’s Last Day

Well, I am working on being a scholar. I think I may be an imposter.

Chip--before he and I met.

I had my orientation at Denver Seminary all day Friday. First of all, I had to get up extra early in order to make it to Denver on time, which meant that the day obviously didn’t start out so great. Me getting up anytime before 10 a.m. usually doesn’t bode well. Also, I apparently forgot that I was going to need to wear clothes to this orientation, which meant that I had to frantically scramble to get my outfit dried before I left the house. My attempt was unsuccessful, so I put my damp skirt in the car, hoping it would dry on the way up.

Then, as I was getting to the freeway, a chipmunk or squirrel or some kind of cute, little furry friend who was simply trying to visit his family on the other side of the road, interfered with my speeding SUV. It all happened so quickly and I didn’t even have time to swerve, and as I passed, I looked in my rearview mirror, and Chip the Chipmunk was flat and pancake-ish and dead. I killed him. What if he had children and a wife and was about to get a promotion at work? All of those dreams are gone, crushed by my new all-wheel drive tires. I felt so, so, horrible.

So with my wet skirt clinging to my legs, and murder on my conscience, I arrived at Denver Seminary, ready to be oriented into grad school.

It was boring.

I mean, it was fun to see friends and meet a couple of professors, but most of the day was spent listening to people teach me how to navigate the seminary’s website. If I’m too stupid to type in a url and click around the tabs on their website, then maybe I shouldn’t be getting my Master’s. Just saying.

Also, I met with the biblical studies department over lunch and realized that I really don’t think I want to spend my entire life presenting my boring research and writing nine billion page thesis papers. Yikes. But I am trying to remind myself that I will be an awesomely awesome scholar who is not boring or obsessed with boringess. Right?

So after making it through orientation, I had my first ever grad school class last night. It was three hours long. We spent the entire three hours going over the syllabus…the 23-page syllabus…perhaps I should just drop out of school and pursue a full-time career as a chipmunk hitman?

Now, I actually think I’m really going to enjoy my class. We’re going to learn all about Israel and how the Bible was understood by the Israelites, and what it originally meant when it was written. I think it will be good times, and I think I’m actually going to like this whole grad school thing. We just had to get through all that syllabus stuff first.

Also, know what I do not like about grad school? People who ask stupid questions. I felt like inflicting great bodily harm on one of my classmates who kept asking questions like, “Umm, I’m going to be out of town and miss quiz #2. When can I make it up?” And, “Where did you post the list of required books? Oh, on the syllabus that is right in front of my face? Gotcha.” And, “I love Snickers bars. Do you love Snickers, professor? Me too.”

Hey, dude, how about you wait and ask your personal questions at break time when I don’t have to listen to you ramble on about things that have nothing at all to do with what we’re discussing as a class?! Self awareness, people! Oh, I wanted to smack him. OK, let me calm down. I think my murder of Chip has turned me into a hardened criminal. I’ll need to work through all of this anger.

Overall, though, I am excited to be taking this class, and I hope to learn lots of good things about God’s people.

And speaking of God’s people, I was recently looking through the book Crazy Love and came across this convicting and uncomfortable passage:

As much as we want God to explain Himself to us, His creation, we are in no place to demand that He give an account to us. Can you worship a God who isn’t obligated to explain His actions to you? Could it be your arrogance that makes you think God owes you an explanation?

Do you really believe that compared to God, “all the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing,” including you?

But yet, at the same time, God loves us infinitely:

The greatest good on this earth is God. Period. God’s one goal for us is Himself. The Good News—the best news in the world, in fact—is that you can have God Himself. Do you believe that the Good News is not merely the forgiveness of your sins, the guarantee that you won’t go to hell, or the promise of life in heaven?

The best things in life are gifts from the One who steadfastly loves us. But an important question to ask ourselves is this: Are we in love with God or just His stuff?

Our love for Him always comes out of His love for us. Do you love this God who is everything, or do you just love everything He gives you? Do you really know and believe that God loves you, individually and personally and intimately? Do you see and know Him as Abba, Father?

God is all-powerful and doesn’t answer to us. And yet He loves us and allows us into relationship with Him.

He is too much.

Have a good day, friends. Rest in His love! And try not to kill any chipmunks and/or annoying classmates.

The Land of 10,000 Lakes

Where has the week gone?! I know you’ve all been waiting breathlessly for an update on my trip to Minnesota. Quit rolling your eyes.

Please forgive my delayed bloggyness. This week has been crammed full of a two hour airplane ride, unpacking my tiny carry-on suitcase (we all know I’m not paying that $15 fee to check a bag), eating Taco Bell chalupas, ignoring freelance work, watching Star Trek at the dollar theater, and other imperative tasks.

But never fear. I have carved out a precious five minutes to ramble on about things that are of no interest to you. Here we go.

So, Minneapolis. It was a good time. I will share each tedious event with you through a pictorial essay. Mainly I am doing this only because I wanted to say “pictorial essay.”

First, Dad and I went to lunch at a “Jewish” deli. They did serve things like gefilte fish and matzah ball soup. But they also served ham and cheese omelets, which led me to believe they weren’t completely kosher. It was a really good lunch, although I was in the mood for some delicious cheese blintzes, but those are considered breakfast foods and they only serve breakfast on weekends. It was Friday, but since I was on vacation, I thought it was Saturday and was very confused. It was a very dramatic ordering process. Oy vey!

After lunch, I promptly went and got a snack with Kate and Katie, my dear friends from my days at the University of St. Thomas. We caught up and then made plans for the girls’ weekend trip we’ve been pretending we’re going to take for the last several years. But we’re actually going to do it this time!

Friday evening, my dad, brother and I attended a Minnesota Vikings preseason game. The big news is dummy Brett Favre. I thought the loyal Minnesotans would boo him, but instead, everyone screamed like teenage girls at a Jonas Brothers concert when he ran onto the field. Ridiculous.

The game was fun times. We had really good seats and the Vikes won.

Also, there was this guy.

On Saturday I spent a lot of time with my dad and brother, and we ate dinner in my dad’s backyard, and spent time chatting around the firepit.

My friend Nicki from high school came over to say hello. We played softball and soccer together. We were not very good at either sport, but we had fun.

My dad’s garden was SO MUCH MORE victorious than ours. I hate him a little bit.

On Sunday, we went out for Dim Sum. Waitresses come by pushing carts with millions of tiny containers of food. Some of the food was good. Some of it was kind of weird. I ate something with shark fin in it. There was lots of shrimp and tofu. They served beef intestine, which looks kind of like wide, flat noodles. And then there were the phoenix talons, a.k.a. CHICKEN FEET. The waitress set a tiny little bowl of fried chicken feet on our table. They looked like chicken feet—because they were c-h-i-c-k-e-n f-e-e-t. Vomit, vomit, vomit. My brother ate one. Vomit again.

So, yeah, Dim Sum really was good. Except for all of the toes on the table. Later, my dad and I went on a bike ride along the Mississippi River. It was such a beautiful day.We found this café and had to stop for fries and a drink.

This was our view.

Later, we watched The Soloist, which is a really good flick. You should watch it too.

So that was about it. The next morning, I boarded a flight and came back to the light air of Colorado. It was fun seeing family and friends—thanks, Dad!

Anyhoo, that was my weekend in pictures. Fascinating, I know. Now I am back and preparing for grad school orientation on Friday. Woo hoo! How has your week been so far? Eaten any chicken feet?

Minnesota Bound

Why has no one reminded me that I’m going to Minnesota tomorrow night?! There is laundry to be done, snacks to be eaten, freelancing to finish, seminary books to be ordered, Harry Potter to be read, more snacks to be eaten, and naps to be taken — all before tomorrow! I have a busy evening ahead of me.

So yes, I am going home to the land of 10,000 mosquitoes to visit my dear old daddy-o this weekend. Charles in Charge, as we like to call him, has apparently made a ton of plans without first consulting me. This is why he’s in charge, I suppose. I am most excited to go on a bike ride on the trails that take you around the lakes in Minneapolis. I like bike rides. And lakes.

I am sure we will be eating many weird foods as well. My dad prides himself on scorning restaurant chains (every time I tell him I went out to eat he has to haughtily ask if I ate at somewhere like Applebees, and then I have to scoff and laugh at the preposterousness of that question, and then shamefully reply, “yes.”) Dad has already informed me that we have a reservation for Dim Sum on Sunday. You see, Charles also thinks that he is Chinese. He is even a black belt in Kung Fu! When I was little, he taught my brother and me Tai Chi moves and also how to use chopsticks. And we watched a lot of Karate Kid. As you can tell, we are going to have fun times all around.

I like my dad lots. We like to chat about stuff, and since we are similarly stubborn (I get it from him—it’s all his fault), we usually end up having good conversations and challenging one another. He’s a good one — I miss getting to see him all the time.

I am not looking forward to going home and seeing purple Brett Favre jerseys. BOO! Vikings fans have spent years cheering against Brett Favre, so I really don’t see why we’d want to start cheering for him for one crappy, broken-shouldered year. Also, seriously, Wisconsin, you should feel pretty cheated on. Favre has been rude to you.

All right, let’s get serious for a minute here. I need to take a moment to say a formal goodbye to a dear friend before I leave on this trip:

Dearest Internets,
Goodbye, sweet friend. I will miss you so very much this weekend, but I will see you as soon as I get back. You know that it is too heart-wrenchingly painful for me to try to contact you when I am in Minneapolis. Having to try to reach you through a series of beeps and screeches and disconnections on my dad’s wretchedly old computer is just too, too, too hard on our relationship. It makes me angry with you, even when I know it’s not your fault! If we have anyone to blame, it’s Charles who still believes that “dial-up” and “Juno Internet Service” are politically correct terms. I’ve tried to explain that those words are hurtful to you and remind you of your slow and painful past, but he just doesn’t understand.

Anyway, please know that my heart is yours and I will return as soon as I can reach you without having to wait 83 years for you to load my homepage.

01001100 01001111 01010110 01000101,
Denise

OK, that was difficult. Let me dry my eyes. I should be going — so much laundry to do. I hope everyone is doing wonderfully and experiencing a sunshiney, glittery day. Bye, friendsies!

Not Guilty!

Oh, friends. Know what I love? Fresh peaches. I have one sitting by me right now and I can smell its sweetness wafting my way. But instead of eating that sweet, healthy peach, know what I eat? McDonald’s cheeseburgers. And seven-layer dip. And Thai food. Not calorie-light peaches.

Those food choices may be part of the reason I am “big boned.” Sigh.

Anyhoo, I am starting a seminary class called “Early Israel and Its Wisdom Literature” in a couple of weeks. That may sound like the most boring, barfy class ever to you, but to my ears it sounds like this: “Tra-la-la-fun-fun-fun-learn-learn-learn-Jewish-Jewish-Jewish!” (It’s catchy in my head.) Well, it did sound that way until I downloaded the 23-page syllabus for the class. It sounds a little less fun and a little more horrifying right now. But we shall see. I’ll report back when it starts.

So the other night I had the weirdest dream in which my friends and I were bandits on the run for crimes we didn’t commit! I can’t remember what crimes we were falsely accused of, but I do know that we ended up hiding out at my old house, trying to “lay low” and keep out of sight of the coppers. But then we also kept inviting all of our friends over and talking loudly about how we were escaped bandits hanging out at my house. So, needless to say, those crazy cops got wind of it and showed up, even though we were not guilty. Then we had some kind of shoot-out/knife fight and then I woke up and realized that my fan was blowing freezing cold air on me because Colorado has decided that the middle of August is a good time for autumn weather. And then I also remembered that I watched an episode of LOST about Kate running from the law — which may have a tiny little something to do with my dream. The end.

OK, wake up. I have something important to say:

Sardines is the best game ever! I played it at Jeremiah and Kim’s house the other night and we had so very many fun times! The house was pitch black and it took us forever to find people and we tripped over things a lot. But seriously, so fun! I am going to plan an ultimate sardines party very soon. Because I am twelve.

We held a bridal shower for our friend, Ginna this weekend. She is marrying our other friend, Steve. They are planning to be Friends for Life. They’re having a “destination wedding” over Labor Day — in Fargo, ND.

Technically, it is a destination. See, we will have to fly to get there.

Micah did a beautiful job with the decorations and food for the shower. See how pretty?

Know what song I am loving lately? Well, if you don’t, you can bet your bottom dollar that I am about to tell you right now: “All Creatures of our God and King.” I’ve heard it a bazillion times, but lately those lyrics are just so sweet. I will post them for you to read. Also, you should actually read them instead of just skimming them like I would probably do if I were reading this blog. Praise Him as you do — join the sun, moon, rushing wind and lights of evening in worshiping our great and glorious God!

All creatures of our God and King, Lift up your voice and with us sing, Alleluia! Alleluia! Thou burning sun with golden beam, Thou silver moon with softer gleam! O praise Him, O praise Him! Alleluia! Alleluia! Allelu-u-ia!

Thou rushing wind that art so strong, Ye clouds that sail in heav’n along, O praise Him! Alleluia! Thou rising morn, in praise rejoice, Ye lights of evening, find a voice! O praise Him, O praise Him! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

And all ye men of tender heart, Forgiving others, take your part, O sing ye! Alleluia! Ye who long pain and sorrow bear, Praise God and on Him cast your care! O praise Him, O praise Him! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Let all things their Creator bless, And worship Him in humbleness, O praise Him! Alleluia! Praise, praise the Father, praise the Son, And praise the Spirit, Three in One! O praise Him, O praise Him! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

So, praise Him. He is sweet to us.

OK, I’ve got to go figure out hiding spots for my sardines party. We’ll chat again soon!
Denise-y