All Stalkers Shop At Walmart

June 13, 2013

Obama, in case you are reading this and have bought stock in Walmart, I’m totes JK with that title.

I need to be working out right now. That’s why I’m writing you this blog post.

I’m new to Red Deer, so I’m trying to meet people and make connections. This mainly means that I force people to talk with me, send emails asking people to have me over for dinner, or show up uninvited at their places of work. Or, today for example, I’m having two strangers over for lunch. But strangers are just friends we haven’t met yet, amiright?! (Heart.Warmed.)

Yesterday I stalked someone who works at a great church in Red Deer. She does children’s ministry and has a large program. I emailed her and was basically like, “You do children’s ministry. Sometimes I write curriculum. You should buy me Starbucks.” Luckily for me, she didn’t call the police, and instead invited me to come visit with her at the church. It turned out to be pretty cool because her church is using Tru, the curriculum I’m currently writing lessons for, and the sister curriculum to Rio, which I spent two years writing. We talked about curriculum and children’s ministry, and then I mainly whined about how chicken costs 16 million dollars in Canada. (Actually. Chicken is so expensive here. Chicken.)

Then after I made my new friend, I decided to ruin my day by going to Walmart. Why would you do such a horrible thing, especially when God built you a Target right in Red Deer? you may be asking. Good question. No one knows the answer. I guess I maybe thought Q-Tips and cotton balls were cheaper at Walmart. And maybe they are. But is it worth the harsh lighting and concrete floors? Probs not. However, I did manage to buy some shoes. Walmart brand shoes are known for being top-notch. I think I was in some kind of Walmart induced haze of bad decisions, because I think these shoes might be hideous. But maybe not? They’re mustard yellow moccasins (wow, it just took me eight hours and a Google search to figure out how to spell moccasins), so probably the right answer is horrendous, yes? What do you think? Should I take them back immediately? (One of the category tags for this post is “fashion,” which is clearly subjective because: mustard yellow moccasins.)

mocassins

It rained yesterday (shocker). I’ve been playing on a park and rec teacher’s softball league here in The Deer. I am not a teacher, but Andrew is. He is “on the team” as well, but he literally never goes. Like ever. I do, though, because I am committed to the game. Mostly I am committed to sitting on the bench with one of the other girls and complaining about the mosquitoes and the rain. We played last night in a legit thunderstorm, so I think holding metal bats was a superb idea. Also, we lost, but I got on base every time (and didn’t fall down once, Springs friends!), so victory for me!

Speaking of Colorado Springs, things are not good there. The fire is burning in the north, and spreading. Apparently 360 homes have been lost and nearly 40,000 people evacuated. I know at least one person whose home is gone, and probably more. Yuck. Pray for rain and cooler temps in CO.

OK, I have to go. I suddenly have a busy day, mainly due to the fact that one second ago I realized I have a deadline today that I forgot about. Oops.

Awesome at life as usual,

Denise

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9 Responses to “All Stalkers Shop At Walmart”

  1. Micah said

    Ohmygosh. Thank you so much for bringing up that softball fall. Day. Made.

    Quit hatin’ on Wal-mart. I think those shoes will be cute with the right um, pants?

  2. courtneycupcake said

    I can’t decide about those shoes. It seems like it rains a lot there. Do you think they’ll get ruined? What the heck are you going to wear them with? xo

  3. Anonymous said

    I feel your pain everyday re: chicken.

  4. VictoriaJoy said

    I didn’t mean to be anonymous. lol.

  5. Lisa said

    I have a friend (who is very trendy and cool) who always instagrams her feet in places. She is often wearing shoes that look exactly like those. They are usually next to plants and flowers. They always look cute (no matter the pants). If you don’t believe me about the existence of said friend, I can show you ALL of her instagram pictures on Monday . . .

  6. denisemorris said

    Micah — please remember that despite the fall, I still made it to second base because I am a CHAMPION.

    Cuppycake — well, let’s start with the fact that they are from Walmart. They will probably fall apart in one wearing, rain or not. I don’t know what I would wear them with! Jeans? A skirt? A tribal deerskin?

    Victoria — What is the deal?! Is there a chicken shortage in Alberta?!

    Lisa — really?! I need to find some flowers and Instagram my feet immediately. This is good news. I would like to see the pics, so I can steal all the ideas.

  7. Currently I am on a break from my mind numbing nursing diagnosis class. However I have learned something because I have one for. Impaired self esteem related to purchase of yellow moccasins from Walmart. Please, take them back.

  8. I dig the shoes. They would go brilliantly with bright blues, teal, and emeraldy green. Little shorts, etc. Rock those floppy shoes. They’re great. I *may* go to The Walmart and acquire a pair. Sorry about the high-end chicken.

  9. denisemorris said

    Chatty — But then I have to go BACK to Walmart! Is it worth the emotional damage?

    Heather — No one wants to see me in “little shorts.” Moccasins or not. But I’m leaning toward keeping them. (See above.)

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