Chip’s Last Day

September 1, 2009

Well, I am working on being a scholar. I think I may be an imposter.

Chip--before he and I met.

Chip--before he and I met.

I had my orientation at Denver Seminary all day Friday. First of all, I had to get up extra early in order to make it to Denver on time, which meant that the day obviously didn’t start out so great. Me getting up anytime before 10 a.m. usually doesn’t bode well. Also, I apparently forgot that I was going to need to wear clothes to this orientation, which meant that I had to frantically scramble to get my outfit dried before I left the house. My attempt was unsuccessful, so I put my damp skirt in the car, hoping it would dry on the way up.

Then, as I was getting to the freeway, a chipmunk or squirrel or some kind of cute, little furry friend who was simply trying to visit his family on the other side of the road, interfered with my speeding SUV. It all happened so quickly and I didn’t even have time to swerve, and as I passed, I looked in my rearview mirror, and Chip the Chipmunk was flat and pancake-ish and dead. I killed him. What if he had children and a wife and was about to get a promotion at work? All of those dreams are gone, crushed by my new all-wheel drive tires. I felt so, so, horrible.

So with my wet skirt clinging to my legs, and murder on my conscience, I arrived at Denver Seminary, ready to be oriented into grad school.

It was boring.

I mean, it was fun to see friends and meet a couple of professors, but most of the day was spent listening to people teach me how to navigate the seminary’s website. If I’m too stupid to type in a url and click around the tabs on their website, then maybe I shouldn’t be getting my Master’s. Just saying.

Also, I met with the biblical studies department over lunch and realized that I really don’t think I want to spend my entire life presenting my boring research and writing nine billion page thesis papers. Yikes. But I am trying to remind myself that I will be an awesomely awesome scholar who is not boring or obsessed with boringess. Right?

So after making it through orientation, I had my first ever grad school class last night. It was three hours long. We spent the entire three hours going over the syllabus…the 23-page syllabus…perhaps I should just drop out of school and pursue a full-time career as a chipmunk hitman?

Now, I actually think I’m really going to enjoy my class. We’re going to learn all about Israel and how the Bible was understood by the Israelites, and what it originally meant when it was written. I think it will be good times, and I think I’m actually going to like this whole grad school thing. We just had to get through all that syllabus stuff first.

Also, know what I do not like about grad school? People who ask stupid questions. I felt like inflicting great bodily harm on one of my classmates who kept asking questions like, “Umm, I’m going to be out of town and miss quiz #2. When can I make it up?” And, “Where did you post the list of required books? Oh, on the syllabus that is right in front of my face? Gotcha.” And, “I love Snickers bars. Do you love Snickers, professor? Me too.”

Hey, dude, how about you wait and ask your personal questions at break time when I don’t have to listen to you ramble on about things that have nothing at all to do with what we’re discussing as a class?! Self awareness, people! Oh, I wanted to smack him. OK, let me calm down. I think my murder of Chip has turned me into a hardened criminal. I’ll need to work through all of this anger.

Overall, though, I am excited to be taking this class, and I hope to learn lots of good things about God’s people.

And speaking of God’s people, I was recently looking through the book Crazy Love and came across this convicting and uncomfortable passage:

As much as we want God to explain Himself to us, His creation, we are in no place to demand that He give an account to us. Can you worship a God who isn’t obligated to explain His actions to you? Could it be your arrogance that makes you think God owes you an explanation?

Do you really believe that compared to God, “all the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing,” including you?

But yet, at the same time, God loves us infinitely:

The greatest good on this earth is God. Period. God’s one goal for us is Himself. The Good News—the best news in the world, in fact—is that you can have God Himself. Do you believe that the Good News is not merely the forgiveness of your sins, the guarantee that you won’t go to hell, or the promise of life in heaven?

The best things in life are gifts from the One who steadfastly loves us. But an important question to ask ourselves is this: Are we in love with God or just His stuff?

Our love for Him always comes out of His love for us. Do you love this God who is everything, or do you just love everything He gives you? Do you really know and believe that God loves you, individually and personally and intimately? Do you see and know Him as Abba, Father?

God is all-powerful and doesn’t answer to us. And yet He loves us and allows us into relationship with Him.

He is too much.

Have a good day, friends. Rest in His love! And try not to kill any chipmunks and/or annoying classmates.

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16 Responses to “Chip’s Last Day”

  1. Jill said

    I also hate others when they ask questions in class.

  2. denisemorris said

    It would be one thing if they were relevant. But questions about your own personal schedule are annoying.

  3. I had tons of classmates in grad school who, I’m pretty sure, were there for the sole purpose of listening to themselves talk! There should be a class on how to go to class and not be annoying.

  4. denisemorris said

    Sarah, so true! Let’s teach it. I think it could be a good moneymaker. 🙂

  5. Alecia said

    Some might even say that Chip is dead as a doornail, don’t you think? I do.

  6. Bonnie said

    Denise, loved this blog…poor little chipmunk.

    I have to take CEU’s for my job so I usually sign up for workshops of interest. What really annoys me is when a participant feels that he/she has to educate all of us including the presenter by showing off how much they think they know, or go on and on about their past research, accomplishments, who they know, etc….I just want to scream, “I did not pay all this money to listen to you.” (Some presenters are very good at stopping this but others are not.) Thanks for letting me vent Denise.

  7. denisemorris said

    Hahah, glad to oblige, Bonnie! 🙂

  8. […] my friends have just decided to accept my neurosis and go it.) I was also given a framed photo of Chip the Chipmunk so that he can live on in my heart. And I received some beautiful roses at work. And also, I got […]

  9. Marlene Velazquez said

    Denise, I understand your frustration with stupid questions! Imagine what I went through in a masters of clincial psychology/counseling. Classmates would ask “What do you do if a client comes in and says they never felt loved by their dad, and their dog died when they were at science camp the same week Tim dumped me… I mean dumped the client?” All the while tears start streaming down their face . Two words for them: PERSONAL THERAPY, and not during class!

  10. denisemorris said

    Marlene: Ha! Oh my gosh, I would’ve died. Seriously, people!

  11. Kerry said

    Denise I can top your annoying comments in class. I am in the LPN program where I am sure some tact and much common sense are important. One of the FEMALES and I use that term loosely actually belched out loud as our teacher was lecturing. Can I just say, Lord help the sick and dying cuz this girl is gonna kill them if she makes it!

  12. denisemorris said

    Kerry, haha! Yeah, belching is a tough one to have to deal with. At least it didn’t come out the other end?? 😉

  13. Congrats on starting seminary! But I’m sorry for the squirrel. That’s a day crusher right there for me.

  14. Kerry said

    Denise, we are thinking she is saving “the other end” for her encore.

  15. […] my second grad school class. Is it bad that I spent most of it keeping track of how many times my curious friend spoke up during class? I think I’ll call him […]

  16. […] is going to my church! In case you don’t remember, Whiskers is the guy who asked two or seventy questions in one of my grad school classes at Denver Seminary. He’s curious, like a […]

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