Minnesota Bound

August 19, 2009

Why has no one reminded me that I’m going to Minnesota tomorrow night?! There is laundry to be done, snacks to be eaten, freelancing to finish, seminary books to be ordered, Harry Potter to be read, more snacks to be eaten, and naps to be taken — all before tomorrow! I have a busy evening ahead of me.

So yes, I am going home to the land of 10,000 mosquitoes to visit my dear old daddy-o this weekend. Charles in Charge, as we like to call him, has apparently made a ton of plans without first consulting me. This is why he’s in charge, I suppose. I am most excited to go on a bike ride on the trails that take you around the lakes in Minneapolis. I like bike rides. And lakes.

I am sure we will be eating many weird foods as well. My dad prides himself on scorning restaurant chains (every time I tell him I went out to eat he has to haughtily ask if I ate at somewhere like Applebees, and then I have to scoff and laugh at the preposterousness of that question, and then shamefully reply, “yes.”) Dad has already informed me that we have a reservation for Dim Sum on Sunday. You see, Charles also thinks that he is Chinese. He is even a black belt in Kung Fu! When I was little, he taught my brother and me Tai Chi moves and also how to use chopsticks. And we watched a lot of Karate Kid. As you can tell, we are going to have fun times all around.dadandme

I like my dad lots. We like to chat about stuff, and since we are similarly stubborn (I get it from him—it’s all his fault), we usually end up having good conversations and challenging one another. He’s a good one — I miss getting to see him all the time.

I am not looking forward to going home and seeing purple Brett Favre jerseys. BOO! Vikings fans have spent years cheering against Brett Favre, so I really don’t see why we’d want to start cheering for him for one crappy, broken-shouldered year. Also, seriously, Wisconsin, you should feel pretty cheated on. Favre has been rude to you.

All right, let’s get serious for a minute here. I need to take a moment to say a formal goodbye to a dear friend before I leave on this trip:

Dearest Internets,
Goodbye, sweet friend. I will miss you so very much this weekend, but I will see you as soon as I get back. You know that it is too heart-wrenchingly painful for me to try to contact you when I am in Minneapolis. Having to try to reach you through a series of beeps and screeches and disconnections on my dad’s wretchedly old computer is just too, too, too hard on our relationship. It makes me angry with you, even when I know it’s not your fault! If we have anyone to blame, it’s Charles who still believes that “dial-up” and “Juno Internet Service” are politically correct terms. I’ve tried to explain that those words are hurtful to you and remind you of your slow and painful past, but he just doesn’t understand.

Anyway, please know that my heart is yours and I will return as soon as I can reach you without having to wait 83 years for you to load my homepage.

01001100 01001111 01010110 01000101,

OK, that was difficult. Let me dry my eyes. I should be going — so much laundry to do. I hope everyone is doing wonderfully and experiencing a sunshiney, glittery day. Bye, friendsies!


4 Responses to “Minnesota Bound”

  1. Micah said

    I just wrote this whole comment whereby I hoped upon all hope that that was an actual signature in binary only to accidentally scroll across it and discover that it is. You are hilarious and clever and actually took the time to write out “LOVE” in binary. I would now like to be your best friend.

  2. denisemorris said

    Done and done.

  3. Ashley said

    One of your best. Nice work, Morris. Nice work.

  4. […] remember how I hated Brett Favre last August? Yeah, me neither. I have blocked all of those comments about his old man shoulder from […]

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