Monday, Darling!

June 15, 2009

Apparently I only have blog posts with days of the week in the title. I’m a creative.

Poor Monday. Don’t you think he has his feelings hurt a lot? Everyone is always like, “Oh crap, it’s Monday. I hate Monday more than anything! Monday makes me want to die. Mondays are the worst! I’d rather be bitten by thousands of red ants and then thrown in a vat of glue than face another Monday.” (These are the things that I yell at my alarm clock on Monday mornings. Who’s with me?)

But little Monday didn’t choose to be the worst day of the week. It can’t help it. I’m going to try to cut old Monday a little slack and be an encourager instead. Here goes:

The color of my toes.

The color of my toes.

“Well, hello, Monday! So nice to see you all fresh and early and bright! Glad you could make it, although you arrived a lot sooner than I was expecting. But still, so happy you’re here. … Umm, what’s that? You want me to get up at 6:30? And go to work for nine hours? Oh, and you think I should get up this early for four more days after you? Uh huh, right. … No one likes, you Monday. Go away!”

I tried. It didn’t work. Moving on.

This past weekend was lovely. I had dinner with some good friends, went to a real, live tea party, got a pedicure, went to another party (I’m super popular), worked in the church coffee shop, took a nap, and did level three of the Shred (not so lovely).

Now, I don’t normally get pedicures, but I’ve had two already this summer! I feel very hoity-toity. I even sipped a frozen drink while I was getting my toes done, which somehow makes it even more snobbish, right? Next time I’ll probably wear giant sunglasses the whole time and demand that someone fan me with palm branches. Also, I’m apparently color blind. I thought I picked a pink polish for my toes, but as far as I can tell, it’s actually bright orange. Although I feel like toes the color of safety parking cones makes me a little less hoity-toity, so that’s good. Also, hoity-toity is my new favorite. So, go ahead and look forward to more of it on this here blog.

I’ve just started reading “My Sister’s Keeper,” which I’ve heard will make me sob and sob and sob. So I’m looking forward to that. I also just received my latest Amazon purchase, “The Essential Talmud.” I’ve apparently gone super hardcore when it comes to my interest in the Hebrew roots of Christianity. So, if you have any questions that you think a bi-racial, 21st century, Christian woman should answer about how to interpret the Hebrew Law of God, I’m totally your gal.

Seriously, Ezekiel is odd.

Seriously, Ezekiel is odd.

I just finished reading Ezekiel, which is a really odd book of the Bible. There’s lots of prophecy and graphic language and skeletons coming to life. Honestly, God’s prophets were really weird people. I mean, Isaiah walked around naked, Ezekiel was required to lay on his side for a billion days, Jeremiah kept gulping down scrolls, and John the Baptist ate bugs and yelled a lot. God called His prophets to do really odd things. I always wonder if I would’ve actually listened to a prophet of the Lord, or if I would’ve just assumed they were mentally unstable. God often used extreme measures to get the attention of His people. Kind of interesting.

The Lakers won the NBA finals last night. It was boring, like most NBA games, so that’s all I have to say about that.

Did you know that Colorado has a monsoon season? Me neither. But apparently it is now. It pours every single day here. It is so unusual. And a bit tiring after awhile. I mean, it keeps storming and preventing me from going on those long runs I love so much. (Have I mentioned how much I’m loving this rain?!) It’s kind of odd, though, because it will be July in a couple of weeks, and I feel like I’m still waiting for summer to start. I still have to check the weather every day to make sure it will be warm enough for me to wear a skirt and sandals. You shouldn’t have to do that in June. Just saying — a girl should be able to show of her glaring orange toes without worrying about them getting frostbite.

Anyhoosy, I should be going. I hope you’re enjoying your wonderful Monday — I can’t wait until next week when I get to see Monday again!!



6 Responses to “Monday, Darling!”

  1. Alecia said

    I tried to be nice to Monday today but that only lasted about four minutes. Also, your toes are not orange. One might say that they are a cousin to orange or perhaps even flirting with orange but they are not orange. And I’m fairly confident that Ashley will fan you next time we go for pedis. That will help your hoity-toitiness a bit.

  2. Lydia said

    I have an idea! Plan one of your favorite activities for Mondays! That will help you get through the blaring of your alarm clock in the morning. Because instead of thinking about the 4 more days of blaring noise waking you up in the morning (followed by the seemingly never ending work days) you will be thinking shorter term…”I can’t wait to go berry picking after work today”… assuming of course people pick berries in Colorado for fun…

  3. denisemorris said

    Lydia, this is a delightful idea. Although, I’ve never gone berry picking, so I’m not sure that would be one of my fav activities. Perhaps it will be, though! 🙂

  4. Jill said

    I often wonder who your real mother is. I just bought a half used bottle of nail polish at the junk store. I will probably keep it in my purse until I throw it away. You were not raised this way. We may have been a little toity, but never hoity.

  5. Ashley said

    1. I will not fan you with palm leaves, but I will feed you grapes.
    2. Your toes have one toe in the orange category, but definitely not a whole foot.
    3. Let’s go to Palisades and pick some peaches on a Monday!
    4. Be like me and take a sick day on Mondays. It’s really rather wonderful to stay in your pjs all day long. Remember the good of days of watching Judge Judy while being unemployed?

  6. Lottie said

    I hate the Lakers so much. Go Magic!

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