September 19, 2011
It’s Monday. When you’re a student, Monday is pretty much like Saturday and Sunday, except no football. Except if you have cable, there is football on Monday. So Monday is … I don’t know. Let’s move on.
I’ve got lots to do this week. There are lessons to write and homework to do, and I’m heading down to Arkansas for Micah’s wedding! Please don’t tell her that my dress doesn’t fit. She’ll find out soon enough when I walk down the aisle with my zipper only halfway up.
Here are two stories from yesterday to keep you entertained. And by “entertained,” I mean “pretty grossed out” and “feeling pity for me over my pathetic TV addictions.”
Story #1: Yesterday I went to Ikea to pick up some frames for Micah’s table numbers. She is super popular and lots of people are coming to her fabulous wedding, so she needed some extra frames. So, I parked in the Ikea parking lot, just happy to be at my fave store. But my glee soon faded away … I got out of my car and noticed what I thought was a puddle of melted vanilla ice cream right by my foot. But wait, ice cream doesn’t have fur, does it? I looked a little closer. As far as I remember, ice cream also does not have a tail. Or eyes. Or tiny little rat toe nails. As I am pretty quick and clever, it only took me about ten minutes to figure out that THERE WAS A COMPLETELY FLATTENED WHITE RAT NEXT TO MY FOOT.
You guys. My top fears equal: 1. Bats. 2. Rats. 3. Mice. 4. Getting a B. My number two fear was next to my sandaled foot!! Commence vomiting. Actually, I didn’t vomit, but I whined about the possibility of vomiting to my friend Diana for the next hour. My lawyer is writing up my lawsuit to Ikea right now. Mental trauma, you guys.
Story #2: The Emmys were on last night. Who cares, right? Exactly. Except that I caught the last hour or so, and spent much of it all verklempt. Friday Night Lights is obvs one of my top two shows, and it was nominated for best writing, best drama, and best actor and actress. First of all, it never gets nominated. Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton were nominated the year before, and that was a first. It’s been pretty roundly ignored by “the academy.” So it was huge that they had four nominations for their last year. They would never win, though. No one knows FNL and it was up against Mad Men and Game of Thrones and other expensive shows. Everybody had been predicting that the fancy shows would win.
But, you guys, Jason Katims won for writing and my sweet, crabby Coach Taylor won for best actor! I loved it. They got the biggest cheers of the night, because some people realize how awesome they are. The FNL cast members who were there looked so shocked and excited. The cast members who weren’t there were on Twitter, and they were freaking out. Scott Porter (a.k.a. Jason Street) said he was literally crying because Kyle Chandler is the best man he’s ever met.
Kyle Chandler was so shocked to be winning, and he laughed just like Coach, and in my delusional head, they are the same person, and he and Dillon had just won state! And then Jason Katims ended his speech with “clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose” and suddenly my contacts were bothering me very much and making my eyes water. I know it’s sad to love a show that much, but I do. I don’t care if you think I’m crazy. Lock me up. With Tim Riggins.
Also, if you feel bad for me and my crazy, you should watch this clip. You’ll be hooked by the end of it. And you’ll turn just as crazy as I am.
K, I really do have a lot to get done, but I just wanted to say “hi.” BE CAREFUL next time you go to Ikea.