Blog 9 3/4

OK, I have to feel better today, you guys. There are things to do and I’ve got to get going. Someone bring me a sudafed.

So the other night I finished the sixth Harry Potter book. I’ve read them all before, but they’re so great that I like to go through them again every once in awhile. After I finished, I picked up book seven and read the last chapter. (I’m speaking in very general terms because I don’t want to give anything away in case you are very behind at being awesome and haven’t read the books yet.)

Each time I read the books, I am more and more impressed with J.K. Rowling. She is brilliant (said with an English accent). She knew what she was doing with that series the entire time. After I read the last chapter of book seven, I went back and looked at the end of book four. Yep, a clue to the whole series. Sitting right there. Waiting to be discovered. Rowling was on it.

Some people hate the Harry Potter series on account of how they’re Satan’s favorite books. But there are such redemptive, Christian themes in this series. Just like Narnia, just like Pilgrim’s Progress. I think part of the reason I love Harry Potter is because — like Narnia or LOST — it tells a detailed, beautiful story. There are things to figure out, clues along the way, an ultimate plan and purpose. It’s like we talked about last week; story is powerful.

The themes of sacrifice and redemption in Harry Potter or any other good series remind me of the One True Story. God’s story. It reminds us of how we sometimes have to choose between what is right and what is easy (Albus Dumbledore) or how the last enemy to be defeated is death.

This guy puts it well (spoilers about the Harry Potter series, so don’t watch it if you plan to read the books!).

Good stuff. So yes, after all this time, I still love Harry Potter. Always.

Sorry if you’ve never read HP and had to read this post. You were probably very bored. Maybe this little guy will make amends?

OK, have a good Wednesday. Read Harry Potter. Read God’s Story. Eat some Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans. Say hi to Dumbledore for me. Steer clear of Snape. Find a golden snitch. Free a house elf. … I’ve got to stop … Visit Zonko’s. … Seriously, I have to go. … Accio end of blog post!

That Torah Shuffle

Someday I would like to be skinny. But today I met my friends Kristy and Ashley for breakfast and I ate eggs benedict with corned beef hash and hollandaise sauce. So today will not be that day.

Also, I really like this quote. Don’t you?

“When I’m 80 years old and sitting in my rocking chair, I’ll be reading Harry Potter. And my family will say to me, ‘After all this time?’ And I will say, ‘Always.’” — Alan Rickman

Oh, Snape. Always.

So, today is Simchat Torah (rejoicing in the Torah). The synagogues follow a weekly reading schedule with portions of the Torah (the first five books of the Bible). Today ends the cycle — this past year, the Jewish community has read Genesis through Deuteronomy together. Simchat Torah is a holiday in which the last chapter of Deuteronomy is read and then the Torah reading immediately starts over with a reading from the first chapter of Genesis.

Simchat Torah is an extremely joyful holiday — God has given us his word, and we rejoice in it. In the synagogues, the people come up and recite blessings over the word of God, and then people grab the Torah scrolls and dance and sing together. The Jewish people have a joy and appreciation for the Bible that most of us have never experienced. They rejoice in the fact that God has revealed himself through his word — they literally dance and sing as they carry his word in their hands, close to their hearts. Can you imagine if we evangelicals started to dance and sing, while holding our Bibles? We’d probably be kicked out of church; we’d certainly be frowned at. But the Psalmist reminds us that God’s word is sweeter than honey, it’s our light, our heritage, the joy of our hearts. God and his word are worth cutting a rug.

These people love God’s word.

Well, it’s Friday, and you know what that means. Work and going to bed as early as possible. I hope you have a lovely times weekend (I suggest not watching the Vikings play any “football” in order to keep your weekend as joyful as possible).

Joves!

Random Crazy

Internets,

I felt like writing you a blog post today. Remember how I would like to be a blogger who has a lot of readers and who makes money from ads on her blog? And remember how that doesn’t happen to people who blog every 28 days? I’m not very good at following my dreams, I guess.

Also, who wants to read a blog about my boring summer that has consisted of writing lessons, writing papers, studying for tests, complaining about the heat in Denver, and learning about Pope Innocent III’s power trip? I certainly don’t.

I finished my summer class last Friday, so now I have a whole month off before school starts again! I’m going to celebrate by writing a lesson. And I’m going to visit Jaci in August (I think it’s always a good idea to go to Texas in the middle of August), and my mom is coming to visit later in the month. It will be good times, you guys.

I saw HP7p2 this weekend. (If you don’t know what that means, then I’m sorry that your life is without joy and awesomeness and invisibility cloaks.)

I thought it was really, really good. A fitting end. They changed a few things I didn’t feel like they needed to change, but overall I was content with the way they sent off Harry, Hermoine, Ron, Snape and Voldemort’s evil baby soul.

So, to go along with the nerdiness of my boring summer, I’ve been in fully hypochondriac mode. As you know, I was pretty sure I was going blind for awhile. My eye doctor thwarted that drama by telling me that my eyes are very healthy, but dry. So I’ve been eye-dropping it up like crazy. After being reassured that my left eye wasn’t going to fall out, I had to find a new crazy obsession. Therefore, I am now convinced that I have hyperthyroid. I’m actually kind of hoping for this one because I need some kind of excuse for my thighs. Seriously, though, until the last two weeks, I have been working out like a madwoman and eating rice cakes and carrots for months. I have not lost one pound. I find that extremely rude and unfair, so my only hope is that my thyroid is messed up. I mean, this is how big my thighs used to be:

Granted, I was like seven, but still. I’ll spare you a current picture, but suffice it to say, I no longer fit into that terrycloth romper thing I’m wearing in that picture. (Also, is “suffice it to say” correct? Or is it “suffice to say”? Or “sufficed to say”? Or “sufferin’ succotash”?)

So, I complained about church history a lot this summer, but now that the pain is over, I’m actually so appreciative of what I learned. It was a really fascinating class, and I have a new appreciation for the history of the church. I feel like I have a greater understanding of what “separation of church and state” means, and what the founding fathers had in mind after experiencing corrupt government and power-hungry popes working together. I also feel like I have seen a pattern of things that started out with good intentions that were eventually corrupted by greed, power and legalism. Basically, we tend to ruin things because we are sinful and in need of Jesus’ grace each and every day. I also am hopeful for the future of Christianity because, even though secularism is on the rise in Europe and North America, faith is growing in Africa, Asia and South America. Our God is in control and His truth will grow and spread to every tribe, tongue and nation.

One last thing: I felt overwhelmed this weekend with so many serious things to pray for. One of those is the tragedy in Norway. Such an evil; such hatred. Pray that the Lord will be at work in the hearts of many, bringing peace, comfort, truth and redemption.

It’s Monday, you guys. I’m sorry about that. But I read a blog post today that reminded me that even boring moments are “to be blessed.” Bless God in everything, for everything. He is good.

* UPDATE: Jaci corrected me. I am insanely convinced that I have hypothyroid, not hyperthyroid.

Is My Silverware Waving at Me?

So yesterday was my birthday. I turned old. Let’s not talk about it.

But let’s do talk about my wonderful friends. They took me out to dinner and then we came back and had chocolate/peanut butter ice cream cake, which could not have been any tastier. And they all got me really wonderful gifts. I was given gift cards to The Gap, Banana Republic and White House Black Market. I am hoping to get this darling little dress with that sweet gift card action.

Also, I am quite prepared to be a world-class chef! I got a cute new red baking dish, a red serving platter (I like red), a promise of the new Pioneer Woman cookbook when it comes out next month, and a Jewish cookbook! I will be making cheese blintzes and challah bread galore.

Speaking of Jews, I also received a Jewish calendar and a darling retro children’s book about Israel. (Apparently my friends have just decided to accept my neurosis and go with it.)

I was also given a framed photo of Chip the Chipmunk so that he can live on in my heart. And I received some beautiful roses at work. And also, I got this spoon.

Isn’t it … neat? Guess what you can’t see? The fact that if you turn it around, it has a butt crack. I am very sorry for the graphic language, but I am also very sorry that I received such a graphic mixing spoon complete with arms, legs, a belly button and, oh, did I mention that it has a butt crack? I mean, what do you do? I thought you should share in my horror joy … for the great gift … thanks, Alecia!

Anyway, I have great friends and I so appreciated being able to spend my birthday with them.

My fantasy football draft is tonight. I’ve done it for quite a few years with my former co-workers at the Focus Leadership Institute. Every year I pretend like I’m going to research players and stats beforehand, and every year I arrive at the draft and end up asking something like, “Is Adrien Brody a good choice for a running forward this year?” Should be fun times.

In other news, I am embarrassed by my life yet again. I was in a doctor’s office recently, and I brought book six of the Harry Potter series to read while I was waiting. It is an excellent book and I know a bazillion adults who would say the same. So, overall, I’m pretty comfortable with my decision to love Harry Potter books because they are well-written and interesting and not just for children, OK?

So, anyhoo, I was busy traveling through the pensieve with Harry and Dumbledore when a boy and his mother walked into the doctor’s office. This boy was the tiniest of tiny boys — blond and darling and tiny. He and his mother sat down to wait for their appointment. Tiny boy, knowing he had to wait, grabbed the reading material he had brought with him. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire…

He opened the book with his tiny, little child hands and began reading with his tiny, little child eyes. I stared at him with my giant adult eyes, and with my giant adult hands desperately trying to hide the cover of my Harry Potter book. Tiny boy and I read on, both lost in the magic and mystery of Hogwarts.

Embarrassed. By. My. Life.

Well, I must be off, friends. I’ve got birthday thank-yous to write and tiny children to meet for book club. Have a fantabulous day!

Gazillions of 3-Year-Olds and Other Ways to Go Crazy

Some people like to read all of the Harry Potter books again. Even though they’ve already read them. And know how they’re going to end. And have other books on their “to read” lists. But instead of reading those books, they follow Harry around Hogwarts until 2 a.m. when they have to go to work the next day. Some people just like to do that, OK?

Anyway, I’m sleepy this morning. Not sure why.

So at church on Sunday I helped with Sunday School for the three-year-old class. We had 25 kids. A multitude of tiny people. In one classroom. It was awesome, hilarious and nerve-wracking. I loved it so much. I also made some new friends. I would post pictures, but that would probably get me into some kind of trouble with the church, the parents and/or the law. So just use your imaginations — or be willing to post bail.

First there was my friend Tiny Shorts McTiny. He is up on all the trends as evidenced by his smallest of all small madras shorts and white polo shirt. McTiny is fond of Ironman figurines and picture books. He and I spent many an hour conversing about the finer points of play dough sculptures.

I also met Madam CutiePie McJeanSkirt. She was not a fan of singing. I’m not sure if it was our voices or the horrendous actions to “Father Abraham” that turned her off. Either way, she preferred standing in the corner with her hands over her face during the praise and worship portion of class. She cheered right up when I asked about her blue and pink manicured fingernails though. We spent much of the morning refining our taste palates with the mild cheddar delights of Goldfish crackers.

Shorty Fancyheimer wore a tie and sweater vest to church. He does not play around when it comes to dressing his best in the house of the Lord. But don’t get me wrong — he was not snooty about it. Fancyheimer loosened that tie right on up and blew some magnificent bubbles along with the rest of us. He wanted us to know that he was formal, but was also here to party.

Sir TiniestofRockiesFans was dressed down in his baseball gear. But this was probably because, as he informed me, he was going over to his aunt’s house for hot dogs after church. He had to be ready. Sir TRF was really the bubble expert in the class. He could blow big bubbles and small bubbles, and he could catch them expertly on his wand. Probably had to do with all of the baseball watching. He told me numerous times that his favorite colors are pink and purple, but not orange. It all works out well, really, since the Rockies’ colors are purple. It’s a win/win.

Pouty McGlaresAlot and I did not get along quite as well. He didn’t appreciate my input about when to sit down or when to stop snatching toys from the other children. In fact, he often responded to me by crossing his arms and glaring menacingly in my direction. I responded by sticking out my tongue at him ignoring it — mainly in order to cover up my hurt feelings.

All in all, it was a good morning. I have lots of new friends and only a few new gray hairs.

I would like to give a quick shout-out to my friends who have recently become addicted to the best show ever — Lost. Glad you’ve joined Club Awesome.

Also, one last thing. My co-worker Rebecca is working on a new magazine that looks really sweet. It’s called Namesake and I haven’t had much time to look at it, but the artwork is super awesome, which automatically makes it worth a look. This is their first issue, so look for more to come!

OK, I gots to get going. I am in dire need of practice on my play dough sculptures so that I can hang with the cool kids next time I go to Sunday School.

Hope you’re having an awesome day!

Working Out: Body, Mind and Spirit (It’s trendy to be holistic)

You know, if I got paid to blog, I would probably do it more often. Who’s gonna volunteer to fund this sweet operation? (Honestly, I will accept peanut butter m&ms and the occasional high five as payment. And, of course, chips.)

So, this summer is just flying on by, people! How is it already the middle of July and how have I not once gone to the pool or worn shorts?! Ah yes, that is mainly because those activities require the baring of my legs. But let me tell you what — these legs have had a work out at the old YMCA this week. I went to my favorite/most hated conditioning class on Monday and the focus was all legs all the time. We squatted and lunged and pushed. I spent the majority of the time weeping on my pilates mat.

I limped around for a couple of days, making sure to tell everyone that the limping came from the fact that I am supremely hardcore (I usually forgot to mention the sobbing). Then, I decided to be extra awesome and go to a second conditioning class on Wednesday. Little did I know that this class was also focused on the old legs. I actually yelled out loud during one of the exercises because it hurt so badly. Sadly, I am not even kidding. Therefore, I am currently unable to move. Jaci had to carry me into the office this morning. On her back. Like a spider monkey.

Here is some great news that is super exciting for no one but me: I am going to start grad school this fall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, we all know that I am an awesome student who is hardcore and determined and will stop at nothing to reach my goal of finishing grad school in a timely manner.

I will be taking one class this fall. It may be a bit much. We’ll have to see.

The thing is that I’m a worker, so I’m going to start off slowly with the grad school thing at Denver Seminary. I am going to work toward a Master’s degree in Old Testament so that I can blow you away with my knowledge of Hebrew and Moses and the Law — seriously, my poor friends will be literally bored to an early death once I start grad school and have even more junk to tell them about all things Jewish.

I’m really excited to be going to Denver Seminary — I think it’s a good school with some intelligent professors. Also, I think Den Sem is really proud to have students who are able to weave their scholarly institution, spider monkeys, fat legs and pictures of Twilight all into one blog post. That takes talent, people. Probably why I was accepted.

So I’ve been reading through the Books of the Bible this year, and I just finished the Song of Songs. That book is a bit too scandalous for good Christians! I’m just saying — I don’t think it would pass CBA’s approval process.

OK, I best be going. Tonight I AM GOING TO SEE THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE, AND I AM SO EXCITED!!!!! and will update about it very soon. I don’t think it’s a very popular movie, so this here blog will probably be the only place to get any kind of updated Harry Potter info — make sure to come back.

Sees ya soon!