Who Says Blog Posts Need a Theme? Or Coherent Sentences?

Jaci and I made cupcakes last night. This means that I ate a lot of cupcakes last night. It also means that I ate some cupcakes today at lunch. And since they’re around, I’ll have to eat some more cupcakes tonight. I don’t want them to go to waste.

My tummy hurts.

I can see the weekend approaching, looking all suave and carefree. I like you so much, Weekend. Usually it’s difficult for me to be vulnerable with my feelings like that, but hey, you bring out the best in me.

There are 700 moths in our bathroom at work. I think it’s rude to have to beware of flying, brown, wannabe butterflies landing on my head whilst I’m powdering my nose.

I am feeling a bit less hoity-toity because, despite the fact that I get pedicures, I still spend most of my time eating chips and sleeping. Hoity-toity people don’t do that, right? Just eighty-year-olds.

This is the most disjointed post ever created in the history of the world.

Avocados.

So I’m working on writing some Sunday School lessons at work these days, and one of them uses John 1. I really loved it in the sweet, heretical Message version. I think you should too. Here’s a taste:

The Word was first, the Word present to God, God present to the Word. The Word was God, in readiness for God from day one.

Everything was created through him; nothing—not one thing!—came into being without him. What came into existence was Life, and the Life was Light to live by. The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn’t put it out.

The darkness can’t put it out. No matter how hard it tries.

Remember how I’m going to Pilates? It is my favorite class because 1) I get to lie down, 2) They keep the lights really dim, so I can take a nap, and 3) I don’t sweat. It is the perfect workout class. Also, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t give me any kind of a workout at all. I’ve been told that it is a wondrous thing for my crippled back, though, so I will keep going at least for a few more naps workouts.

I know this post has been mind-numbingly boring so far, but don’t cry. I took this picture to make you feel happier:

This is Star-Butt Pants. She just bought some pants one day with a star on the butt. I mean, why not? This way, if she ever gets separated from her group, she can call her friends on her cell and say, “Hello, friend. This is Star-Butt Pants. I’ve lost you, but perhaps, if you keep your eyes open, you can find me. I’ll be the one with the giant turquoise star on the butt of my pants. So keep your eyes peeled. For the turquoise star. It’ll be on the butt of my pants.”* I think it’s a good idea.

Well, I must be going. I’ve got chips to eat and naps to take. Star-Butt Pants and I hope you have the best of days.

Until next time!

* My friend Ashley, was the one who came up with most of Star-Butt Pants’ phone conversation. This is what we do with our lives.